Looper II The Rainmaker
by Thecricketsarecalling
Summary: 2044, with a baby on the way Sara and Cid's life and future is unknown
1. Chapter 1

**2044**

Sara knelt beside Joe's body, gently stroking his hair until dusk settled. A wind picked up causing a few stray strands of her hair to whisk around her pale drawn face. Lifting her eyes she stared across the fields before knowing exactly what she had to do.

Cid was asleep, but she didn't want to leave him alone up at the house much longer. She knew it was only a matter of time before people came. The crashed trucks were still smashed across the main road along with their luggage. Looking down at him, at that torn shredded wound on his chest she suddenly couldn't take it much longer. Snapping her eyes shut a horrible ache filled her as she leaned over and wrapped her arms around his cold stiffening corpse. Laying her head on his mangled chest, she clung onto this stranger for life itself. Letting out a horsed heart broken wail of a cry, she screamed before tears rolled down her face.

Her cries echoed loudly and she mourned for a man she had just met. A man who had changed her and her son's life, a man who had saved them, and a man who she had somehow fallen in love with.

An hour later once darkness had settled she finally gathered herself to sit back up. Her salty tears left tiny white trails down her face, and she felt completely exhausted. She knew there was nobody else to do it, she owed him this much.

Slowly she stood up, staring down at him before she turned. If she wanted to get back to Cid she had to get started now.

She walked the mile back to the house, checking on him. He was still fast asleep, his face bandaged and his tiny little body clutching the pillows in her bed. Walking over, she leaned over and gently kissed his head before turning and walking downstairs. The house was still in ruins, what was left of that man's body was splattered all over the walls. She knew if she intended to stay she would be at work for days cleaning up the mess. Heading for the basement she grabbed some of the old tarp she used to over some of the farm equipment and rope. Out at the barn she grabbed her shovel and spade. Putting all the stuff down beneath the prettiest tree in the yard she turned and began walking down the road in the darkness. Listening to the crickets, she hoped no animals had gotten to him yet.

Seven or so minutes later she found him exactly where she left him. The moon had come out and gave enough light to show vague shapes of the destroyed trucks on the road. Stepping over some over turned boxes she made her way out to the field where his body was. She wanted to drag him closer to the house but her own car had been acting up that month. Money had been pretty tight and she hadn't gotten the chance to take it into town. Lately whenever she needed to go to the market or do errands her and Cid would just take a taxi. She counted herself lucky that he hadn't started school just yet even though there was a bus stop about ten or so miles further down the road near old Miller's place. Leaning down she stared at him before picking up his gun. It was heavy in her hands and grease from it's metal brackets wiped on her hands. Giving a look of total disgust her face crumpled before she flung the gun as hard as she could into the field. She didn't know where it landed, but she heard the broken rustle of branches and a thud as it hit the ground.

Leaning down she braced herself before sliding her hands underneath his arms. Hooking underneath his armpits she counted to three before lifting him up. Straining her entire body she sucked in a deep breath before lifting him as much as she could. Struggling with the dead weight she bit down on her lip and began to drag him across the dirt watching his shoes make trails across the soil. Nearly loosing her grip on him, she almost lost her footing before slipping his hands around his waist. Feeling the fabric of his jacket and shirt against her hands she lugged him, stopping every few minutes to catch her breath.

It took nearly an hour to drag him to the house. By then she was sweating, exhausted, and near tears again. She was certain she had strained her arms and back and dropped him harder than she wanted onto the grass near the barn. Dropping to her own knees she swayed for a second before looking up at the moon. A silent tear rolled down her face before she let herself fall backwards onto the soft cushion of the grass right beside him and stared up at the night sky.

Devastated she began struggled to hold back tears before she turned over and stared at him. He laid there looking so peaceful. Struggling she sat up and nodded to herself.

"All right..."

Getting up she grabbed the shovel and spade and began to dig. She was used to hard work and for the moment all she had to think about was digging. As soon as the blade of the shovel dug into the soil and she threw it back over her shoulder she began to count. Over and over again she made a rhythm, listening to the sound of the shovel scraping the dirt and pebbles. Deeper and deeper the grave was made before finally she found herself filthy and about to collapse. Her muscles ached all over and her arms felt like water. The blisters on her palms had broke and were now bleeding. Wiping her hands on her jeans she walked over to Joe's body.

Unrolling the tarp she laid it out carefully like a blanket before leaning down and grabbing his body again. Barley able to lift him this time she strained before rolling his body on top of it. Feeling light headed she gave herself a second before looking down at him.

She knew this would be her last chance.

She knelt down once more and dug into his side pocket where she had put his watch. She knew by right it wasn't hers, but it was honestly all she had left to remember him by. Silently she slipped it into her own pocket before brushing back his hair one last time. It felt so soft against her fingers. Looking down she smirked.

"Thank you Joe..."

Leaning down she softly kissed his cold lips before cupping his face with her hands. Kissing him once more she stood up and folded up the sides of the tarp on each side of him. Using the rope she tied off both ends before grabbing it and dragging it to the edge. With one final push the body landed in the hole. Walking around to the other side she slid in his legs and laid it down flat. Staring down she grabbed the shovel and began to toss the dirt in. Watching the first few shovelfuls hit the plastic she felt her stomach turn. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

It wasn't fair.

A half an hour later the grave was filled. Sara's hands were raw and nearly ruined but the job was finished. Patting down the dirt she stuck the shovel into the ground and leaned against the handle.

"I guess I could say a prayer Joe...but I never knew if you believed or not. I guess all I have to say is thank you. I'll make sure Cid remembers what happened...and hopefully everything will be all right."

Not able to think of anything else to say she simply stood there staring down at the dirt before turning and looking up at her house.

"Bye Joe..."

She muttered before tossing the shovel down and heading inside.

**Six weeks later**

Sara sat on the toilet in the upstairs bathroom. Cid was in his room playing with his trucks. Sitting there Sara loudly sighed before snatching the small cardboard box that sat on the edge of the sink. Grabbing it she stared at the directions before lifting the tiny plastic strip.

Blue.

"Shit..."

She muttered to herself before brushing some of her hair out of her eyes.

After she had cleaned herself up she sat on the edge of the tub still holding onto the pregnancy test. There hadn't been anyone else. In fact Joe had been the first man she had slept with in almost a two years.

Remembering that night as if it was yesterday she quickly grabbed the box and shoved the test back into it. Dropping it into the waste paper basket, she bundled up some toilet paper and covered it so Cid wouldn't see, not that she thought he would even understand.

Rubbing her arms she felt goosebumps begin to break out. Walking out to her bedroom, she stopped and saw the tiny little plastic frog on her dresser. She had left it there since everything happened.

Leaning against the doorway she took a deep breath.

It wasn't the first time in her life she honestly didn't know what to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Sara knelt by the toilet and violently vomited, holding her hair back and feeling her stomach lurched as she spit that sour bitter taste out and gagged. This whole week she had been sick to her stomach and it was now becoming harder and harder to hide it from Cid. Currently he was downstairs watching TV. For the last few weeks Sara had put all her time and energy into trying to fix the living room. The windows had been very expensive to replace, and she had since painted over all the blood splatter. Some of the wood damage was too much for her to handle herself and she knew in a few months once she could visit the bank a few times and arrange some things she could maybe hire somebody on. Some of the furniture was beyond repair so she had moved some things around and for the moment the room looked just as well.

She had all the silver stashed in the basement and she knew it was only a matter of time before she found somebody she could half trust to trade it into cash. Until then she was just working with what she had.

The police had indeed shown up investigating about the two wrecked trucks. By then of course Sara had collected all her belongings and cleaned up the wrecks as best as she could. She claimed she hadn't seen anything and all the wreckage was cleared out within a day or two. She was grateful they hadn't gone down to the house.

She had been worried about Cid though.

He kept waking up in the middle of the night crying out for Joe. She had no idea in just those two short days he became so attached. Night after night she comforted him, trying her hardest to make sure he wasn't upset. Rocking him in her arms she would sooth him saying everything was all right. Finally there came a night when his chubby little tear drawn face was too much for her to handle.

"Where's Joe mamma?"

Sighing she stroked his hair before looking out the window at the grave. Cid somehow hadn't noticed it or at least hadn't mentioned it to her.

"He's...he's in heaven baby."

"Heaven?"

"Yeah, where you're other mamma is...remember we talked about that."

"Where the angels are?"

"Yeah..."

"Did he die?"

Sara sighed feeling that same ache in her chest. Just a few days earlier she had taken the home pregnancy test and still had no idea what she was going to do.

"Yeah honey...he did."

"Did he get shot when the bad people came?"

"Yeah honey, he did."

"Did it hurt?"

"I don't know."

"Will the bad people be back?"

"I don't think so..."

"Is Heaven nice?"

"Yeah, at least I would like to think so."

"Are there clouds?"

"Yes, lots of them."

"I'm gonna miss Joe..."

"Me too honey, me too..."

Stoking his hair she told him whenever he felt lonely or sad he could go outside underneath the tree where Joe was. She explained he was buried there just like how his other mamma was buried up in the cemetery. That Joe was resting and he could talk to him whenever he wanted and even though he wouldn't answer back, he was listening.

"Do you talk to him?"

Sara stared down at her very young son.

"Sometimes monkey, sometimes..."

Now here she was, having a horrible round of morning sickness. Finishing, she spit once more before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand before flushing. Her head was aching and her stomach felt strained. Kneeling against the cool tiles of the bathroom floor, she pulled herself up and stared at her pale reflection in the mirror. Running the water she cupped her hand before swallowing some water and swooshing it around in her mouth before spitting. Looking up at herself again she couldn't help but have her thoughts go back to that night...

_How his weight felt against her, pressing her into the mattress. His lips roughly covering hers as the warmth of his tongue slipped into her mouth. How he smelt like a mixture of water from the well outside and faint old cologne that must have clung to his clothes. She remembered her hands going through his hair and finally resting at the fly of his pants. How she felt something budging there, something that had a pulse that she wanted to touch and wrap her hands around._

_She remembered how wonderful his touch felt, how her entire body felt as if it was made out of pins and needles whenever his hands swept across her. How his back arched and how he stared right into her eyes as he spread her legs and drove himself into her..._

_She remembered all those things..._

Walking back into her bedroom she flopped herself onto her bed. Onto the same bed this baby that was inside her was made. Staring at the ceiling she knew she still had a million more things to do. The thought of being pregnant really hadn't hit her yet. She remembered her old partying days, how one of her many one night stands resulted in Cid. How she blamed herself for him now growing up without a father.

She hadn't been with anyone since she came back, taking care of Sid had become a full time job and all that seemed important to her was making sure he was safe. That night with Joe she hadn't been thinking clearly. They hadn't used protection and he had finished inside of her...

Laying there her fingers danced across her still perfectly flat stomach.

Inside there was the problem.

She knew right now if she truly wanted to stay here she would have to put all her time, focus, and energy into Cid. That if she planned on controlling what he had, if she was going to try and raise him right and have him use his power for good...she couldn't be worried or wrapped up with another baby.

Laying there she remembered laying in this same exact bed with him just a few weeks ago. Holding and kissing him, and for the first time in awhile, feeling safe. Thinking, she honestly didn't know if she could go ahead with an abortion. The thought had crossed her mind when she got in trouble with Cid the first time, but she knew in her heart she couldn't go ahead with it.

Could she give the baby up?

If she was alone maybe, but she knew how confused Cid would be if he saw this happening before his very own eyes. Right now her choices were either have and raise the baby, or get an abortion and never look back.

Laying there she felt so tired. Lately her early mornings on the farm had been getting to her and barley had any energy left. Even though it still early she knew the pregnancy had something to do with it. Laying back she thought of Joe, buried out back.

Why couldn't things have been different. Why couldn't have Joe shot his hand off so that his older self couldn't have shot at them? A million different things played out in her head when that day happened. Maybe if things had gone just a little differently...maybe she wouldn't be laying here alone.

Rolling her eyes she couldn't believe what she was thinking. Never before had she depended on a man. Never behind had she acted this way. Never before had she been...

In love.

No it wasn't love, it was guilt. She knew it was just her hormones acting up on her. She had to get her head on straight and really start thinking about the future. Tempted to grab a cigarette from her dresser, she was about to sit up and reach for the pack when she stopped.

Smoking was bad for the baby...

That's when she stopped and sighed shutting her eyes and rubbing her face gently with her hands. What was she thinking?

Resting her hands on her stomach she just wanted a sign. Just one sign on what exactly she should do? Laying there she decided to rest her eyes for a little bit before getting up and fixing Cid something to eat. Taking slow breaths she slowly drifted off before falling asleep.

"_Sara...wake up."_

_Sara's eyelids fluttered open. Staring up she couldn't believe it._

_Joe was laying beside her, looking just as he did before everything happened. He was laying beside her, his jacket off, a small smirk on his face, and those green eyes staring down at her. Feeling her heart skip a beat she looked up at him in complete disbelief. _

"_Joe?"_

"_Hey..."_

_Sitting up she stared at him before reaching out and touching his arm. Right away her eyes widened._

"_You're here...you're really here! I thought..."_

_Joe shook his head before gently picking up one of her hands. His skin felt so smooth against hers as their fingers interlocked. Feeling him squeeze her hand, she felt a sudden overwhelming sense of comfort. Overcome with emotion she leaned closer, and grabbed onto him as tight as she could. Burying her face against his shoulder, she took a deep breath._

"_I thought you were dead..."_

"_I am."_

_He said simply as she held onto him. Shaking her head she refused to let go._

"_Please don't...I'm pregnant...I don't know what to do, I need you here. Don't die...please don't..."_

_The faint sound of a baby crying filled the room before she looked passed his shoulder and saw all the furniture floating mid-air. Her eyes widening she looked around before Joe whispered in her ear..._

"_Take care of yourself...I was wrong."_

_'What?"_

Sara opened her eyes.

It was getting dark now. Glancing at her alarm clock half awake she saw that she had been asleep for hours. Downstairs she could hear the TV still playing. Groggy, she laid there for a second before blinking.

"Joe?"

She called out into the darkness of the room.

But Joe wasn't there. She knew better. Joe was outside underneath the tree, a couple of feet underneath the dirt...rotting away.

Feeling the same ache in her chest she sat up letting her eyes adjust to the dark before looking around. The bed was empty, as it had been for weeks.

Afterward she went downstairs, dressed for bed wearing sweats and a T-shirt. Cid was in front of the TV eating cereal and watching cartoons.

"Hey monkey..."

Walking over she ruffled his hair before sitting down.

"What have you been up to?"

Cid shrugged.

"Watching TV, playing with my cars..."

"Sorry honey, I guess I fell asleep."

"That's okay, I know you've been sad."

Sara raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You're sad...because Joe went to Heaven. It's okay."

Sara sighed, she knew she couldn't hide anything from him. Slowly she nodded before staring at the flicking images on the TV.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

Cid kept going back to eating his cereal before Sara bit down on her lip. She wasn't exactly sure how to go about this. She still hadn't really thought things out yet, nor had she gone to the doctor. Sighing she looked at him.

"Honey, what do you think about having a little brother or sister?"

Cid looked up.

"Huh?"

"What would you think about me having another baby?"

"Do you have a baby in you're tummy? That's where they grow right?"

Sara warmly smiled.

"Yeah..."

"I think it would be cool...I want somebody to play with. Do you have a baby growing in you're tummy?"

Sara looked down at herself.

"I think so...Joe helped me make the baby that's growing in there and I guess I miss him a lot. He helped us...and well...I just wanted to know what you think about a new baby coming?"

Cid stared at her for a second before a small glimmer of a smile appeared on his face.

"I wish Joe had been my daddy..."

Sighing, Sara put her arms around Cid as they watched TV together.

"Yeah, I think he would have liked that."

**Later**

Sara was tucking Cid into bed. It was around eight and the entire day had escaped her. She knew tomorrow she would have to call Dr. Anderson in the town and try to make an appointment. It was time to start making decisions. Smiling down at her little boy she leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"How did Joe help you make the baby?"

Cid asked much to Sara's surprise. Sitting there for a second she was totally caught off guard. Nervously smiling she took a second. She didn't want to lie to him, he was a very bright boy and ever since she came back she didn't want to lie to him. Still, he seemed a little too young to start explaining the birds and the bees.

"Um, well that's a good question. Joe and I made love and he ended up putting the baby inside me."

"What's making love, like hearts?"

Sara smirked.

"Yeah sorta...when you're a little bit older I'll explain it to you better."

"I hope it's a little brother...I always wanted a little brother."

Sara smiled clicking off his night light.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, we can play hide and go seek in the cane, and I can share my trucks..."

"That sounds nice...what if it's a little sister?"

Cid shrugged laying back and staring up at her.

"That would be nice I guess...at long as she would want to play trucks."

"If I end up having this baby...I'm going to need a lot of help. I don't want you getting upset or jealous."

"Because I might hurt somebody?"

Sara stopped thinking for a second, she didn't want to show him that he was right. Instead she sighed and nodded.

"Well, we're working on you controlling that. But babies are very fragile and you need to be careful. So if you can be a big boy and help me...I think we'll be okay. All right?"

"I promise I won't hurt the baby mamma..."

This broke Sara's heart. Sighing again she touched his tiny chubby little cheek.

"I know baby, I know."

"I wish Joe could come back from Heaven. He would keep us safe."

"I know honey, but he's still around in a way. We may not hear or see him but he's watching us. Like an angel remember?"

Cid sadly smiled before turning over on his side. The scar on the side of his face was just starting to heal. For a while Sara was worried it was going to get infected.

"Night monkey."

"Night."

Standing up she silently walked out and shut the door behind her. Standing in the hallway Sara felt so overwhelmed. Why did she have to face all of this alone? She hated herself for thinking it but she knew Cid was right. He was just a little boy and was just starting to trust her. He had killed her sister by accident and that man who had come to get Joe. She had spent days mopping and scrubbing blood off the walls. What if he got upset or angry or scared again? What if she was pregnant and he had another outburst and blew her apart? What if he got jealous of the baby and did something? All it would take is the baby crying, or scaring him? What if the baby was a toddler and hit him or knocked over his toys? What if Cid got angry and hurt it?

Going to her bedroom she grabbed her pack of cigarettes and headed outside. Sitting on the porch where weeks ago she had helped patch Joe up when she hit him with the buckshot, she sat listening to the crickets and staring out at the cane. Taking a cigarette she was about to pop it in her mouth when she paused. Staring out into the darkness she looked at the grave underneath the tree. Sighing she put it back in the pack. Sighing she sat back, rubbing her legs and looking up at the dark night sky. Could she honestly go ahead with this? Maybe things would be easier if she did just get an abortion. But could she live with it?

Sitting there she drummed the wood beneath her and wished more than anything that Joe was there.


	3. Chapter 3

"Would you like to see?"

Laying on the table, Sara felt her heartbeat flutter in her chest. For the past several minutes she had been staring up at the ceiling. This was usually how she felt whenever she was at the gynecologist. It was that same embarrassed feeling she got, feeling as if everyone in the world could see her laying there, her legs on the stirrups, wearing nothing but a paper gown. Glancing over she watched as Dr. Anderson slid his stool beside her and turned the machine so she could see the screen. Pointing, he showed her the small fuzzy image. When she was pregnant with Cid she had only gotten one ultrasound done and never an internal one like she was getting at the moment. This was beyond uncomfortable and a stiff pressure was inside her. Laying there she tried her hardest to relax as she lifted her head and stared.

"I don't see anything..."

"Right there, fetus looks about six going on seven weeks...growing nice and normal. See right there, that's the heart."

"Can I hear it?"

"Not just yet..."

"Does everything look okay?"

"It does, now I'm going to put you on some vitamins and I would advise you to take it easy. You're a healthy woman but I know the pressures of running a farm all alone. How's you're sister's boy doing?"

"Fine...just fine."

"What is he now? Five?"

"Just turned his birthday was this summer."

"Well I'm sure he'll be nice and excited about this new little critter. I'll go get you're chart."

Gently patting her arm, Dr. Anderson clicked off the machine of the vague shape that was her baby. Carefully he wheeled in-between her legs and looking up at her.

"Okay, deep breath."

Sara stared back up at the ceiling before she felt him take the paddle out of her. Releasing her breath, she waited until the doctor stood, stripping off his gloves. Carefully he helped her lift her legs down.

"Nurse Linda will give you everything you need. Now I'll put you down for next month so we can keep an eye on how everything is coming along."

"Thanks doctor."

"Anytime Sara..."

Waiting she listened for the sound of him closing the door before sitting herself up. Looking around the small office she slowly slid her hands across her stomach and sighed. She wanted to hurry back. Cid was in the waiting room playing with a couple of plastic cars he had brought with them. The two had taken a taxi into town and before she came in for her appointment she swung by Hal's garage and asked him to come down in a few days and take a look at her car. She knew when that happened she would keep Cid indoors.

She knew she was taking a risk taking him into town, but this was something she needed him to get used to. It had been months since he really had any other human contact and after everything that had happened she wanted to get him adjusted. He was a very bright boy and was all ready behind in starting school. The idea of home schooling him had crossed her mind, which was something she had began ever since she came back, but she knew it wasn't enough. If she intended on raising him right, she needed to get him to control this power of his. She knew life was hard and full of heartache, but she needed to get him to keep his temper at bay. Mostly when he was playing with other children. She knew all it would take would be one time. Once when he got scared or angry and everything that Joe had sacrificed for them would be for nothing.

This baby would be the first real test.

She had told him this morning they had to run some errands in town, and that she had to do to the doctor. When he asked if she was sick she answered that she just wanted to make sure the baby inside her was growing. Sitting on the table she swung her legs back and forth.

That's when she looked up and saw him.

_Joe was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed and a very amused look spread across his face. _

"_Hey."_

_Sara looked up, surprised to see him. _

"_Joe..."_

"_How's the little tyke doing?"_

_Sara looked down at herself and sighed feeling tears well up in her eyes. Controlling them she sniffled and looked back up._

"_Good."_

_He walked forward, his boots clicking across the floor._

"_Listen Sara, none of this was planned."_

"_You can say that again...guess that teaches me to have one night stands. You would think I would have learned by now."_

_Joe stopped, hands shoved in his pants pockets. Glaring down at her she saw a flicker of sadness dance across his eyes. _

"_You gonna be okay?"_

_Sara looked up at him and sighed._

"_No...in fact I don't think so. God...I wish you hadn't of died."_

"_I had to Sara."_

"_I know..."_

Just then Sara snapped out of her thoughts. Blinking she found herself sitting there in the doctor's office completely alone. Joe wasn't there with her...he was back at the farm, dead and buried. Looking around, she gently rubbed her face and knew she had to come to her senses. Sliding off the table she grabbed her folded clothes she left on the chair. Slowly slipping out of the paper gown, she began to dress before rubbing her eyes roughly like a child. She would do anything to talk to him right now.

Remembering that evening when she was cleaning his buckshot wounds on the porch, she clearly could still feel how taught his muscles felt as she gently rested her hands against his arm as she cleaned up the cuts as he flinched. Looking down at the very same hands that had helped him, she grabbed her purse and hurried out to the office. She wanted to call a cab to take her and Cid back home before it got any later in the day. Walking down the small hallway she wondered to herself what would have happened in things had been different. What if, somehow Joe got to live? What if he had stuck around long enough and they could still be safe? She knew this was impossible but still she couldn't help but wonder.

If he had lived, if things had been different in that small little fantasy inside her mind, how would he have taken the pregnancy? Would he have even stayed there? She liked to believe he would. In her min she pretended that somehow he had been able to stop his older self. That he had simply left and walked away. She knew it was crazy, but what if he had. What if he had taken pity on them and left and was never seen or heard from again? What if really the Loopers had been stopped and they had left Joe be?

In her mind she saw him staying...

She was about to think further when she stopped at the nurse's desk where Linda sat, a middle aged friendly woman who smiled once she made eye contact. Glancing through the plastic window into the waiting room she saw Cid sitting in one of the chairs, amusing himself with one of his cars, silently driving it up and down it's armrest.

**Later**

"Is the baby okay?"

Sara snapped out of her thoughts before glancing down at Cid who sat beside her in the backseat of the taxi. They were almost to the house and Sara had been day dreaming as they passed all the vast fields and land. The driver was listening to jazz music and hadn't even bothered to glance back at them in the rear view mirror. Their afternoon had been a busy one. After leaving the doctor's they had walked down the street to the market and got a few things before stopping by the drug store to get her prescriptions. While they were there Sara bought Cid another matchbox car before they met their taxi by the park. So far the day had been sunny and cool. Sitting there she stared down at her son, the two brown paper bags they had filled were resting by her feet.

"Yeah, the baby is just fine."

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

Sara shrugged.

"Not sure yet, still early."

Cid eyed her stomach before going back to his car. Watching with, she gently put her arm around his shoulders and felt her chest ache when the taxi passed the side of the road where Joe had killed himself.

**That night **

Sara had fed Cid an early supper and then practiced his numbers with him. After giving him his bath she changed him into his pajamas before tucking him in for the night. After cleaning the dishes she went downstairs to the basement and stared at the silver. With the baby on the way she knew she was going to have to trade it in or figure out something with it. She knew it wouldn't be hard but she had to still be careful.

Locking up for the night she went upstairs and changed for bed. Slipping underneath the comforter she laid back and still remembered that night with Joe. How she clung onto his arching back, feeling him stiffen and moan.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath before staring off into the darkness. She was lonely, and more than a little bit scared. Laying there she tried to relax before sleep slowly began to settle down around her.

_But things had been different..._

_The older Joe aimed his gun at her, his eyes filled with pity and regret. Standing there she held her hands up, praying Cid was running as fast as he could. _

_She could see the younger Joe just over his shoulder, too far away and struggling to run over holding his gun. Locking eyes she saw him raise. Looking back she stared into the older Joe's eyes and both locked together._

_This was it._

_She heard the gun cock back and braced herself._

_That's when a loud echo sounded through the air. Instead of bracing herself for the pain for shock of being knocked back, she saw old Joe stumble forward as the gun fell to the ground with a heavy thud._

_Half his hand was gone, ugly old scar tissue was grown over where three of his fingers were just a moment ago. She watched as the younger Joe hurried over, his head gushing blood as his other hand gripped the gun. Standing there she watched as the older Joe struggled to keep his footing before he screamed. _

_The younger Joe finally reached them before pointing the gun at his older self's head. _

"_FREEZE!"_

_His older self gritted his teeth before trying to reach down for his dropped gun. That's when Sara leashed out and snatched it before he could take hold. Aiming it, she held the gun out to his head as Joe did the same behind him. _

_The older self screamed._

"_CAN'T YOU SEE! THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HOW IT HAPPENS! HE NEEDS TO DIE!"_

_The younger self shook his head._

"_You're wrong...I'm changing history."_

"_You have no idea what this child is going to become! Think about you're wife dammit! The woman you love!"_

"_No...she won't. If I never meet her then she's safe. This boy, he won't grow to be filled with rage or regret. I'll make sure of that."_

"_How can you?!"_

"_Because this is the woman I'm in love with..."_

_Sara froze as the older Joe turned and stared at her before the younger Joe stepped forward._

"_I'm going to stay here and until the day I die I'm going to make sure this boy doesn't turn into the monster you know. If you ever try to come back and harm him...I'll blow my fucking brains out. Do you understand?"_

_Old Joe's face crumpled before he held out his pocket watch. Clicking it open, tears began to slide down his face. Slowly dropping it, the chain fell to the dirt and Sara looked down. Instead of the wife's photograph, there now was an old photo of herself._

_Gasping she stared._

_Before she could even react she heard Joe scream her name before the older one snatched her gun. Holding it to his head, he snapped his eyes shut and Sara screamed. Thinking he was just going to turn the gun around and shoot her, she stood there frozen as the older Joe flipped the gun around and aimed it to his head. Sara's eyes widened as she tried to reach out and stop him._

"_NO!"_

_Another loud echo of the gun going off filled the air as the older Joe fell to the ground. _

_Staring down in shock, she stared at the older Joe who's body was sprawled out on the ground before her feet. All of this had happened in just a matter of seconds and she couldn't believe when he snatched the gun and hadn't tried to use it on her. Instead he had killed himself. Out of despair and out of defeat._

_Standing in complete shock she let out a few horses breaths before looking across at Joe who dropped his gun. His hand was pressed against him and bleeding badly, soaking into the fabric._

_Both locked their stunned eyes before Joe dropped his and looked down at his older self, laying there on the ground with half his head blown open. Trying to steady herself, Sara felt her heart pound in her ears. She felt like she might faint. Catching her breath, she called out in a horsed strained voice..._

"_CID!"_

_Standing there she didn't have any strength left in her legs, nearly collapsing Joe hurried and wrapped his good arm around her, bracing her body against his. Leaning against him she struggled not to burst out crying. Leaning against Joe, she felt her whole body begin to shake._

_Just then there was a rustle in the cane and Cid came out, bloody and scared. _

"_Mamma!"_

_Hurrying over Cid ignored the older Joe's body before wrapping his arms around Joe's legs and burying his face against Sara. Feeling hot tears run down her face she clung onto her son and Joe before resting her head on his shoulder._

_It was over all over..._

"_Is the bad man dead?"_

_Cid asked simply. Letting go of Joe Sara scooped Cid up in her arms and held him tight against her. _

"_Oh baby!"_

_Holding him tight against her, she looked over at Joe and how pale and drawn his face was. Glancing down she looked at his hand._

"_Joe you're bleeding..."_

"_It's all right...it's okay."_

_Opening his arm, he gathered Sara and Cid against him. Kissing the top of her head, he squeezed them against her and looked down at his older self._

_**That Night **_

"_Jesus!"_

"_Quit being a pussy."_

_Sara scolded Joe as the two of them sat at the kitchen table. It was nightfall and a lot had happened since that morning. Joe insisted on taking Cid back to the house. Offering to carry him, Joe looked very worried and kept checking Cid's face. Sara saw his hand and ripped off a piece of her blouse and tied the bloody stumps of his fingers saying she could manage. Together they walked the mile back to the house before Joe grabbed the first aid kit form the upstairs bathroom. Together they sat Cid down and cleaned his face, bandaging it, and making sure he was okay. Cid seemed perfectly calm though the whole thing and didn't even cry._

"_He's a tough kid."_

_Sara smiled as she carefully rechecked Cid's face before gathered him up in her arms._

"_He's exhausted, I wanna put him down for a little while."_

_Joe stood, his fingers seemed to have stopped bleeding but his face had an odd lax color to it and dark circles were all ready appearing around his eyes. Standing together in the kitchen, Sara looked into the ruined living room. The windows were blown out and there was blood everywhere. She knew if she wanted to take Cid upstairs she should have to shield his eyes. Joe took a step closer before staring down at Cid with nothing more than she could explain as a father staring down at his son. Gently he touched Cid's damp hair that Sara had tried to quickly rinse before attempting to leave earlier.._

_Staring down at him, Joe sighed before lifting his eyes and looking at her._

"_I gotta go clean up that mess down the road."_

"_Do you think others are going to come?"_

_Joe slowly shook his head._

"_No, I think we're okay."_

"_Should we stay here?"_

_Sara could all ready feel Cid easing up in her arms. His eyes were now shut and his breathing nice and easy. Joe continued to gently stroke his hair with his good hand. _

"_Yeah...I'm gonna need a few things in the barn, might take me a few hours."_

"_You need help?"_

"_No, you stay with him and get some rest."_

"_Will you come back?"_

_Joe smirked at her before leaning closer, locking eyes again he gently kissed the side of her mouth before walking passed her and out the back screen door. Still holding Cid, Sara watched Joe walk across the lawn and into the barn. Gently rubbing Cid's back she turned and walked as fast as she could through the ruined living room before heading up the stairs to her bedroom._

_Laying Cid down, she quickly changed into shorts and a T-shirt before curling up beside him. Mentally exhausted by that morning she laid back and stared at the ceiling until she drifted off._

_A few hours later Joe was sitting beside her, gently shaking her arm awake. _

"_Sara?"_

_Blinking, Sara couldn't believe it was nearly dusk. The sky had an off pinkish orange color to it and long shadows fell through the windows. For a second she really didn't know where she was or if everything that had happened in the last forty-eight hours had all been a dream. Instead she blinked her eyes and her vision cleared enough to see Joe sitting there, looking oddly handsome and bringing a sense of comfort to her as she felt beyond relieved to see he had really came back._

_Glancing at Cid she was about to touch him when Joe shook his head and whispered..._

"_Let him sleep...come on."_

_Taking his hand she carefully slid out of bed and shut the door behind him before following him downstairs. Staring at the wreckage of the living room she saw that the pieces of the man who had been destroyed that morning was now gone. All that was left of him were faded blood splatter marks on the walls and ceiling. _

"_I couldn't get those off the walls...you're probably going to have to paint over them. If you have some tarp I can block off the windows in case in rains."_

_Sara didn't even want to start thinking about the repair of the room, instead she walked into the kitchen and turned on some lights. _

"_Let me see you're hand..."_

_Turning she motioned for him to show it. The torn off fabric of her shirt was now almost a dark black color from the now dried blood and dirt that had soaked into it. Pulling him closer she gave a grunt of frustration._

"_Sit down, these damn things are gonna get infected."_

_Turning she put the tea pot on to heat up some water and grabbed the plastic first aid kit they had used for Cid earlier off the counter. Forcing him to sit, she began gathering her things as he slowly sat down looking amused. _

_He explained to her that he had been able to tow the wrecked trucks twenty miles away in a ditch using a scooter. As for the bodies he simply said he buried them in one of the fields. Pausing as she began opening bottles and grabbed new gauze, she stared at him. She wondered what it was like to bury your older self. The same self that had tried to murder her._

"_I stashed some things in you're basement."_

_Sara lifted an eyebrow._

"_What?"_

"_I guess you could call it my retirement plan."_

_Not bothering to ask any more questions, Sara slowly unwrapped his bloody stumps and began to fix them up. When she pressed one of the hot steaming face clothes against them he hissed and she told him to sit still. After a half an hour she cleaned up up and bandaged them as best as she could._

"_How does it feel?"_

_Joe held up his newly wrapped hand._

"_Weird...like their still here."_

"_You outta go into town and get a real doctor to check it. God knows I don't know what I'm doing."_

_Joe stared at her and smiled shaking his head._

"_I'm fine...you okay?"_

_Sara brushed back some of her hair and looked out the window over the sink. It was dark now and a light wind was blowing through the cane._

"_I guess..."_

_Together they went back upstairs and into the bedroom. Sara insisted that Joe would change out of his clothes so she could clean them. Wearing just his boxers, the two slid into bed with Cid still sleeping peacefully between them. Laying there in the darkness of the bedroom, Sara stared across at Joe as thin moonlight began to creep in through the curtains. Joe laid across from her, his head resting on the pillow, staring across at her._

_Sara softly smiled before her arm slid over Cid and found Joe's hand. Squeezing his hand, she felt comforted and slowly shut her eyes._

Sara awoke to find her face still wet with tears. She was laying in bed, her hand outstretched and empty.


	4. Chapter 4

Sara honestly didn't want to get up. It was nearly five in the morning and her alarm was giving a very annoying shrill ring in her ear. Reaching over and snapping it off she laid back in her bed sighing loudly. Lately all she seemed to want to do was sleep. Laying back she stared up at the ceiling before finally getting enough energy to swing her legs out and stand up, stretching and feeling the cold floorboards underneath her bare feet. Yawning, she ignored the slight turn of her stomach before looking out the window. The cane was beginning to break down and her last threshing had chopped most of them down, leaving their stalks to now be half it's size, ready for the upcoming winter. Feeling heartburn, she lightly rubbed her stomach before turning to look at herself in the vanity mirror.

Lifting her nightgown she stared at herself and sighed. She was starting to notice that she was pregnant now. She had to be fully nude of course to really notice the settle difference, but here it was. The stomach had begun to fill out more against her hips. Running her hands across the cold skin, she sighed before shuffling to the bathroom.

She really hadn't exactly taken the time to enjoy nor notice much when she was pregnant with Cid. She remembered the idea of abortion had crossed her mind more than once until she finally came down to visit her sister, explaining the trouble she was in. She remembered that Cid's father had probably been this wealthy business man she had picked up at one of the many night clubs she used to dance and drop in on the strip. She believed his name might have been Zach and he was in his mid forties. All she really remembered about him was his thick dark hair and big eyes. She had danced with him and woke up the next morning completely naked beside him. She didn't exactly want to call it rape since she had been willing, but little flickers of that nearly blacked out night came back to her every once in a while. Even though he had been a gentlemen the whole night, she strangely remembered that he had been a bit forceful and tore her skirt when she told him she wanted to go back downstairs.

Sneaking off without waking him, she had never seen or heard from him again.

Playing up the fact she might have been raped to her sister, and the fact she saw how she had been living, she offered to take the baby as soon as he was born. For the last few months of the pregnancy Sara struggled to stay clean and lived a pretty peaceful life on the farm as her sister who she believed was going to die an old maid got ready for the baby. Then one hot summer night she delivered at the city hospital and as the doctor handed that tiny little thing over she had passed it over to her sister.

She hated herself for taking off and leaving. She hated that she had missed so much and wasn't there for him. She also hated that her sister had died and it was beyond anyone's control.

Now she hoped this was her second chance. She would raise Cid right and bring this baby into the world to make them a family. Or at least she hoped so.

Staring the shower, she tested the water underneath her hand and waited for it to heat up. She had a lot to do this morning and wanted to get most of it done before Cid woke up. Slowly stripping out of her clothes and tossing them to the floor, she began to drift off into that day dream she found herself slowly escaping to whenever things seemed to overwhelm her. This was the same little fantasy she had been living in every time she fell asleep, always disappointed to wake up from it every morning.

_They were woken up by Cid jumping up and down between them on the bed. At first Sara honestly didn't know where she was. In just a matter of seconds reality came shifting back into focus causing her to feel a complete push as her eyes opened and the blinding early morning sunlight came in through the curtains. _

_Cid was giggling despite the large bandage on the side of his cheek. He jumped up and down between them as Sara blinked and glanced over at Joe. Looking just about the same as her, Joe's face had a puffy half slept in look as he blinked, his hair a little messy as he smiled up at Cid who suddenly stopped and sat in front of him._

"_Hey kiddo."_

_Joe said in a slightly dry voice, making himself sit up against the wooden headboard. The sheet fell around and pooled down to his waist, showing his marked up and damaged chest. Cid shifted closer before looking down at Joe's wrapped up hand._

"_What happened to your hand?"_

_Joe looked down, almost as if he had forgot._

"_Oh...just a little accident."_

"_Did the bad man shoot you?"_

_Joe glanced quickly over at Sara before returning his gaze to Cid._

"_Sorta...how's you're face?"_

_Cid shrugged as if he didn't care._

"_Okay, stings a little bit...here..."_

_Cid leaned down and kissed the top of Joseph's bandaged hand. Looking a little surprised by this sudden show of affection, Joe looked completely overwhelmed before reaching out._

"_Come here rough guy."_

_Cid who usually hated to be touched smiled as Joe lifted him onto his lap and gently kissed his other cheek. Letting him lay his head on his chest, he slowly stroked his hair before looking over at Sara. The two of them smiled, not even having to say one word. _

"_Are you gonna be my new daddy?"_

_Cid asked simply as Joe continued to stroke his hair. Lifting his eyes once more at Sara, Joe smirked._

"_Maybe kiddo...maybe."_

_A few minutes later Sara urged Cid to come to the main bathroom to get washed up and to let Joe sleep a bit longer. Together they went into the bathroom where Sara ran him a quick bath and was able to check his bandage and change it. After drying and dressing him she brought him to his room._

"_Mind playing in here for a little while."_

"_Sure mamma."_

_Still hearing this made Sara's heart melt. Smiling she patted his hair._

"_Just stay here and try to keep it down so Joe can get some rest...then how does pancakes sound?"_

_Cid's grin said it all. _

_Walking downstairs Sara surveyed the damage to the living room. It really wasn't as bad as she thought. The windows were blown out and Joe was right about taping them off in case rain came. The furniture was all turned over but for the most part hardly of it was damaged beyond repair. Besides the faint pink stains on the wall and ceiling there was hardly any trace at all._

_ Shuffling to the kitchen Sara couldn't believe herself as she hummed and began taking things out to start breakfast. For the first time in a while she really truly felt wonderful Humming to herself she opened the fridge and leaned down looking for the milk._

_That's when she heard somebody coming down the stairs. Thinking it was Cid she didn't even bother to turn around. The living room was in good enough shape for him to see. Still she couldn't believe that after everything Joe had done the day before, he still had time exhausted and bleeding to clean up the mess Cid had caused. _

_That's when she heard footsteps in the kitchen behind her._

"_Hey monkey, wanna help me?"_

_She asked before a much larger hand slid across her midsection causing her entire body to go stiff._

_Pausing a smile curved up on her face as she slowly stood up and felt his good hand wrap around her. Leaning back she glanced at his handsome face before st reaching out her neck and allowing herself to be kissed. Smiling she felt his tongue flicker against sensitive skin. That's when his good hand reached up underneath her shirt and began to squeeze and cup her breast. Feeling her body start to react to his touch, she leaned back feeling his groin grind against her skin as something firm pressed against her. _

_Remembering two nights before, visions of them in bed flashed before her eyes making her even more excited. That's when his good hand slowly came from underneath her T-shirt and reached down in-between her legs and into the fork of her crotch. Right away his fingers cupped and started to rub in rough circles making her gasp in surprise._

_Standing there she waited before she began feeling that same overwhelming force begin to build. Standing there she began to react as she moaned softly and clung onto him for dear life. That's when the rush of pin pricks started to rise and she bit her lip as hard as she could. Feeling as if her legs were now made out of water they nearly buckled but he firmly held her in place as she clutched onto him and felt the orgasm race through her. Snapping her eyes shut she moved against him as his touch deepened before finally he stopped. _

_Feeling completely drained, Sara laughed and laid against him before he gently kissed her ear. Smiling she slowly turned, still in his arms before facing nose to nose with him. Cocking her head to the side she placed her hands on his shoulders and covered his mouth with hers, deeply tasting him as their lips smacked together. _

"_Where's Cid?"_

_He whispered._

"_Upstairs playing..."_

"_Can we hear him if he comes downstairs?"_

_Sara nodded knowing exactly where he was going. As fast as she could she hiked herself back and sat on the counter lifting her dress up. Joe looked a little more uncertain than before, glancing over his shoulder before lowering his boxers and letting them drop to his ankles. Staring at him standing straight up, Sara grinned and reached forward, wrapping her fingers around the tip and gently tugging him forward. Right away the color in Joe's face changed as he gulped and went to her. Opening her legs, he adjusted himself for a moment before staring straight down into her eyes._

_Sara held onto him before he slid himself in. Stiffening at the feel of him inside of her, Sara clutched onto his shoulders before he went in again, faster and much rougher. Giving a deep sigh she held onto him as he began to find a pace and pumped into her as fast as he could. She saw he was sweating and laid her head against his shoulder as he drove into her over and over again._

_Running her fingers through his hair, she felt as if her whole body was on edge again. Holding onto him tighter she remained that way for a few minutes before finally he began to slow and roughly finished and buried his face against her hair. Feeling the warmth inside of her, she waited before he pulled out and stared at her, drained and panting for breath. Gently cupping her face she kissed him before running her hand through his hair again._

_Together they smiled before kissing and feeling the safest they ever had in their whole life's._

_That morning Joe dressed in his freshly clean clothes and the two made breakfast together. Calling Cid down the three of them ate as Cid kept grinning up at them. Afterward Joe went outside, mentioning that he wanted to go into the barn and get the tarp to cover the windows. Cleaning the dishes, Sara looked out the window above the sink at Joe walking towards the barn with Cid following behind him like a puppy dog._

_For the most part of the morning Joe covered the windows and looked over the damage that had happened to the outside frames. Cid sat close watching his every move as Sara stayed inside and tried her hardest to begin to pick up. In the end besides a few legs off chairs being blown off, everything else was perfectly fine. Taking out the third trash bag out back, she wiped her hands and went around to see them. It was warmer out and a nice breeze was blowing through the air._

_Joe had his sleeves rolled up and was just finishing. Cid sat in the grass beside him, handing him duct tape and watching his every move._

"_Hey guys..."_

_Sara stopped to admire Joe's handy work. Turning, Joe smirked. Cid looked up, a couple of his toy trucks were sitting around him._

"_Mamma look, Joe fixed the windows!"_

_Sara looked up, hands on her hips._

"_I see..."_

_Glancing down, Sara checked Cid's face before scooping him up in her arms. Walking over Joe touched her cheek._

"_You all right?"_

Sara snapped out of her thoughts.

The water running over her was now iced cold. Snapping out of it, she quickly turned the water off before drawing back the curtain. Stepping out she grabbed the first towel and wrapped it around herself. A wave of nausea turned her stomach. Standing there for a second she sat down on the edge of the tub before running her hands though her hair.

She wasn't all right...not at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Fourteen weeks later**

Christmas had just passed. This winter thankfully there hadn't been much snow besides a few really bad frosts and a light dusting after Thanksgiving. The fields were now bare and stretched on for what seemed like forever. These past few months had been tough. Sara finally made a few phone calls and ended up inviting Ryan Novak, an old friend from her partying days who worked as a private banker. Having cleaned up his act a few years ago and now sober, the two touched base every once in a while. Shortly before Halloween he came over while Cid was at the kitchen table using a magic marker to color a few pumpkins Sara had bought for him in town. Taking him downstairs she showed him the silver and promised him 30% if he traded it in for cash. Novak was one of the few people she truly trusted. He had a family of his own, two little girls. They sat in the basement as Novak counted the heavy bricks before lifting his eyes at her.

"Is this all?"

"There's more, but I'm sorry Ryan I just can't tell you."

Nodding Ryan rubbed the back of his neck.

"Did you steal it?"

Sara shook her head, nervously biting her thumb nail.

"No, a friend gave it to me before he died...he had been saving it for the past few years."

"There's a lot of money here Sara...and if this is half...I would say you got around ten million, maybe."

"Jesus..."

"I can cash it in, but it's going to take about a month. I don't want them to catch on. It might take three or four weeks...but I can get it all to you. You need to promise me something though..."

"What?"

"Promise me this isn't illegal...I have a family to think about."

Sara stared across at him.

"I promise, it isn't."

By the time Thanksgiving came Novak gave her all her money in cash. Even though he refused, she insisted on paying him. Stocking the money away in her safe in her bedroom closet, she knew for the time being she didn't have to worry...or at least she hoped so. Having the money now she had repaired the car and was now able to freely able to go in and out of town whenever she pleased. One afternoon before all the leafs fell, she hired a few local guys to fix up the windows and other damages around the house. That afternoon she kept Cid away by taking him into one of the surrounding fields to fly a kite. In the end the repairs hadn't cost much and she counted herself lucky before the cold came. One thing that did make her uneasy was when one of the men who was lugging lumber through the back door kept glancing underneath the tree at the patch where Joe was buried. Grass had finally begun to grow there but still it was noticeable.

The holidays came and Sara tried her hardest to make it happy for Cid. His cheek was now just a faint scar across his face and he seemed well adjusted and hadn't really spoken about those two days back in early September.

On Thanksgiving Sara made a nice peaceful little dinner for the two of them and they ended up laying in the living room watching a few movies.

As winter approached her stomach began to show. Slowly it began to take shape and was now curved in such a way it was nearly perfectly round and started to stick out. After her last doctor's appointment, everything looked to be fine. She decided to wait until after Christmas to find out the sex of the baby. Her appetite was increasing and she was thankful that she had prepared for the winter ahead of time. Her energy wasn't what it used to be, and she started getting awful headaches.

Cid seemed excited on Christmas morning. After decorating a small tree that was delivered to them, they sat on the living room floor listening to Christmas music as Cid unwrapped all the presents Sara had brought to him. He was a bright little boy, but he believed Santa had brought them the night before and ate some of the homemade cookies he left out. Sitting Indian style across from him, she smiled watching him take out his puzzles, toy trucks, and plastic animals.

"Mamma, I got you something..."

"Oh yeah?"

Getting up he reached underneath the couch and took out a small package wrapped up in newspaper. Smiling nervously he handed it to her.

"Here mamma..."

Taking it Sara smiled before unwrapping it. Laying there was Joe's silver pocket watch. It laid there in her hand, the fine silver chain draped across her fingers.

"I found it in one of your pockets in the laundry room."

Sara slowly held it before opening it. The clock was still ticking. Smiling she felt tears fill her eyes.

"Thanks baby..."

"It was Joe's wasn't it?"

Sara looked up at him and smiled.

"Yeah it was, thanks honey...this means a lot."

Reaching out she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tight.

That night after Cid passed out in the heap of his new toys, Sara slipped on a pair of boots and wrapped a shawl around herself before going out back. It was lightly snowing out and the sky had an beautiful pink tint to it. Walking out she went to where Joe was buried and wrapped herself tight. Seeing her breath come out in tiny little puffs, she stared down at the frosty ground.

"Merry Christmas Joe."

Gently rubbing her stomach she smiled before walking back to the house.

Now it was January. Sara planned for this spring to focus on Cid. Trying to get him to control his temper and his power. She wanted him to start school soon and be with other kids. Still, she was so scared something was going to happen.

Back at the doctor's office, she had driven slow since her tires weren't exactly the best. Cid was in the waiting room coloring as she laid on the table and watched as the doctor moved the paddle across her stomach.

"Wanna hear the heartbeat?"

The tiny thumping began to fill the room as Sara smiled. Seconds later the screen flickered on before the doctor leaned forward and pointed to the screen.

"There's the head...yep and the spine..."

"Can you tell if it's a girl or a boy yet?"

The doctor turned and smiled.

"You want to see? It's still early but it's turned enough."

Sara smiled for the first time in a while feeling a tiny flutter of excitement inside her.

"Yeah."

Pressing the paddle more against her lower stomach, he waited before nodding.

"Yep...and there we go, look...it seems like you're having a little boy."

Sara stared at the screen before she sat up slightly.

"A boy?"

Joe and her were having a son.

That evening she drove back as it began to flurry again with Cid in the passenger seat. Driving slow they made their way back to the farm, the headlights cutting through the dark front yard. Getting out, she held his hand as they climbed the steps and unlocked the door.

"Take you're boots off and hang you're coat up monkey."

Sara reminded him as she took her scar off. Joe's pocket watch now laid against her chest. She had been wearing it as a necklace ever since Christmas and it brought a small sense of comfort to her whenever she got too lonely. Inside the house was chilly and she went straight to turn up the heat. Wearing slacks and a loose fitting sweater she couldn't help but smile. Just a few weeks ago she had gone into town to buy some new clothes since slowly she was starting not to fit into anything. Cid found her new belly funny and kept asking if he could feel the baby yet? Sara explained it would take a little longer but as soon as it started moving he could feel. Just a few nights ago when she was in the kitchen chopping up carrots for their beef stew Cid came over and very gently nuzzled her stomach with his nose and kissed it. Sara stared down in complete awe.

Turning the heat up and flicking on a few lights, she headed straight for the kitchen, her purse still over her shoulder. Inside was the print out of the ultrasound.

"Hey Cid, come in here for a second."

Cid who was putting his coat away in the tiny little nook of a closet underneath the stairs paused and looked in at her. Watching him she couldn't believe he was all ready five. She knew she was going to have to start trusting him as he did with her. He all ready looked so much bigger than he had when she first arrived at the farm.

Walking in, his tiny sneakers squeaking against the floor, he looked up at her as she smiled and sat down at the table.

"Wanna see something?"

Cid climbed up on one of the chairs as she took the ultrasound photo out of her bag and laid it flat on the table. Pointing to it she smiled.

"The doctor took a photo of the baby in my tummy...looks like you're going to have a little brother."

Cid's eyes lit up as he stared down at the fuzzy photograph.

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Is that the baby?"

Sara leaned over and pointed.

"It's sorta hard to tell, but there's the head see...and his feet."

Cid stared at the paper with a toothless grin before smiling up at her.

"I'm gonna share all my toys with him."

Sara smiled and reached over patting his hair.

"That's nice sweet pea."

Cid continued to grin before Sara motioned with her head towards the fridge.

"Mind having left overs?"

"Can I have a cookie?"

"If you eat some stew."

"Okay."

"Wash up pumpkin."

Cid climbed off the chair and hurried up the stairs. Listening to his heavy footfalls Sara smiled before looking down at the photo.

"We're having a boy Joe."

She said out loud to the empty kitchen. Glancing out the window towards where he was buried she felt tears begin to prickle behind her eyes. Fighting to keep them down so Cid wouldn't see she got up and put the print out on the front of the fridge using one of the plastic letter magnets. Looking at it she opened the fridge and kept busy, cursing her hormones for making her feel this way.

Putting bowls on the counter, she heard Cid hurry back down the stairs.

"Can I help?"

Smiling down she nodded."

"Why don't you grab the glasses."

Cid dragged his small step stool over towards the counter and stood up opening the cabinet. Reaching in he grabbed two mason jar glasses before climbing back down.

"Here Ma..."

Before he could finish Cid stumbled over his own two feet causing him to fall. Sara who had her thoughts else where staring out the window at the snowy darkness glanced over just in time. Slowly Cid began to fall forward before she even had a chance to react. One mason far slipped from between his hands, the other fell right in front of him. Her eyes widening Sara gasped.

Cid only fell forward, his left knee crushing on top of the shattered mason jar. The other one broke beside him. It all happened in just a matter of seconds, but it was enough. Sara heard the sound of his knee crunching against the broken chunks of glass and watched as he stopped himself by putting his hands out.

"CID!"

She turned, knocking over one of the bowls. Quickly going to kneel down and grab him she saw it was too late. Throwing his head back, Cid's eyes were the size of saucers. His face flushed with pain he knelt there among all the broken glass before his face puffed up and he stared at her. Slowly Sara knew she had to get out of there.

"Cid no..."

His eyes filled with tears as he threw his head back and began to scream.

"Baby don't!"

"NO!"

Cid screamed at the top of his lungs, causing a powerful force field to blow across the room, causing the table and chairs to shake. Slowly she stared at him with fear as she tried to get up and back out of the room.

Cid's knee was bleeding and the utter shock of falling was causing him to loose control.

"Baby please don't..."

She tried but it was too late. Another powerful wind hit her enough to make her fly backwards into the chairs. Hitting her back she fell against them and scrambled to get up before he blew again. Fighting to get to her feet she ran as fast as she could before reaching the doorway. Cid was still screaming as she ran up the stairs, nearly collapsing before rushing down the hall to her bedroom.

Feeling the floorboards vibrate she nearly slipped and fell before rushing into the closet. Her money was all boxed neatly away on little shelf's as she struggled to get inside in time. Shutting the door, she sat there in the darkness hearing the faint yells of Cid before a horrible agonizing pain rammed through her.

"Ah!"

Looking down at the crotch of her slacks she saw blood beginning to flow.

_It had been six weeks since it happened._

_It had also been the happiest six weeks of Sara's life._

_Nobody had come, nobody had been looking for them. It seemed over. _

_Joe still had trouble sleeping. Night after night she heard him slip silently out of bed before heading downstairs. His blunderbuss cradling against his shoulder, standing in the living room staring out the windows at the fields. _

_Most mornings she would wake up earlier than Cid out of habit and find his side of the bed empty. Creeping downstairs, slipping on her robe she would find him standing there, staring out. As always she would gently slip her hands on his shoulders, breaking him out of whatever trance he was in and softly kiss his earlobes before urging him into the kitchen. They would have coffee together and just sit there waiting for Cid to wake up._

_It seemed to be taking Joe a while to fully adjust to his new life there. Sara at first worried he would simply move out just like some cowboy out of a western. But as days turned into weeks she saw how much he had truly fallen in love with her and Cid._

_First he fixed her car, spending two whole afternoons on it before getting it running. Going into town, Joe seemed slightly suspensions and went straight to the newspapers at the market. There was coverage on the front page for the first two weeks of the massacre that happened at the night club. There were no witnesses so the police believed it was a mob hit. _

_As time slowly crawled by it seemed as if Joe began to relax. Still being mindful of keeping watch, he buried himself in little jobs around the house. The first was repairing the living room. Joe had mentioned he wanted to wait to cash in the silver in case anything happened. Sara mentioned a banker she knew in the city but Joe seemed uneasy about it. Instead he used the cash he had on his person which was more than Sara had ever seen before in her whole life. Joe insisted on paying for the repairs all out of pocket and for a week straight after getting lumber delivered to the farm that's all he worked on. _

_Cid adored him. He would sit watching him for hours almost in a trance. Sara knew Cid had never seen nor been with a man this long and he was really making an influence on him. Cid seemed very curious and worried about him. He followed him around like a puppy and Sara knew if Joe said jump, Cid would ask how high._

_Joe was also adjusting to Cid and he really did seem to be the best thing for him. For a man who had no experience with children he was wonderful with Cid. He had patience which seemed so rare in the world today. He was amused by anything Cid did and treated him like an equal. He allowed him to follow and watch him and always was there to show him how things worked or picking him up and making him laugh. Sara saw that in a weird strange way he was the father Cid really should have had._

_She knew he loved him when he would fuss worrying about Cid's face and how it was healing, or how more than once he would go in and check on him sleeping. Just the week before Sara was hanging laundry when she saw the two of them chasing each other around the yard playing guns with a couple of Cid's plastic dart throwers. Joe wore jeans and a T-shirt looking very casual and at ease as he ran around, pretending to hide behind trees before playfully grabbing Cid and swinging him around._

_Some days he would be found sitting with Cid in his room, going over math problems like she usually did or would be laying on the couch with him reading. At dinner Cid would sit next to him, pretending to eat and act like Joe before giggling whenever Joe made a face at him. Sara knew he had fully gained his trust when he allowed Joe to even run a bath for him._

_She knew now that if Joe left now Cid would be heart broken._

_He never lost his temper or got annoyed or lashed out at Cid. In fact whenever he was playing with him or just plain being near him he seemed thrilled. She saw that not only was he protecting her, he was protecting her son as well._

_Joe only left once to return to the what he said was the ruins of his apartment in the city and get a few things before the police became involved. As far as they knew he worked at the club where the massacre happened and die in the explosion that so many were killed in. Sara pleaded with him saying it was stupid but within just a few hours he came back in a duffel bag. He said he snuck in through the fire escape and just grabbed some clothes and a few guns of his. Together the two of them hid them down in the basement where Cid couldn't get to them. _

_Night after night Sara found herself laying beside Joe, together they would just lay in the dark talking. Sometimes about their past, sometimes about what had happened, but most of the time about Cid. Sara explained how her grandparents took them in when their parents died. How Sara had sorta been the black sheep while Lucy her sister was the good one. She talked about all her partying days, all the drugs, booze, and men. She finally told Joe one night about who she believed to be Cid's father. Never before had she gone into such detail nor told anyone this._

_Joe listened, his green eyes fixed on her. They had just finished making love and both were curled up beside each other. Joe was gently stroking her hair as she stared up at the ceiling and told him. When she finished she couldn't believe she was nearly on the verge of tears. Glancing over at him she snuffled and laughed before wiping her eyes. Joe on the other hand looked dead serious._

"_He raped you."_

_Sara shrugged._

"_I'm not sure. I was pretty messed up that night...I do remember him forcing me but I think it was my fault."_

"_That's bullshit."_

_Sara blinked, surprised by this._

"_What?"_

"_Sara that bastard raped you...do you remember his name."_

_Sara thought she did but lied seeing an anger in Joe she had never seen before. _

"_No...it was a long time ago Joe. Can't remember remember what club he was in."_

_Joe stared down at him._

"_I would have fucking killed him."_

_Reaching up Sara ran her fingers though Joe's hair and sighed._

"_It's over and done with. Besides if that hadn't of happened I wouldn't have Cid."_

_Sighing Joe laid back before gently kissing her temple and putting his arm around her protectively. Together they fell asleep. The next morning Sara awoke to find Cid and Joe downstairs. Cid was sitting on the counter as Joe was stirring up some pancake batter. Walking down and closing her robe she smiled at them. _

_They were a family...finally._

_A week later Sara found herself in the upstairs bathroom glancing down at her personal calendar she kept in her purse. She rarely used this besides making appointments or when it was time to thresh the cane and keep the watering cycle right. Staring down she counted back the days and did the math._

"_Shit."_

_She thought to herself._

_She was late on her period. _

_Closing the book she tried to think before laughing to herself. How could she have been this stupid? She haven't been using protection at all since Joe came along. In fact Joe was the first guy she had been with since she came back home to the farm. Ever since Joe decided to stay here they were making love nearly every night. Never before had Sara had such satisfying sex before. Joe by far had been her best lover. Never before had she had so many orgasms and found herself completely drained at the end of the night. Most of the time they would lay in bed laughing trying to stiffen their moans and cries from waking Cid down the hall._

_Right away a million thoughts surged through her mind. How could she have a baby? Remembering what a struggle it was with Cid she couldn't honestly see herself doing it again. She knew she had a long way to go in being a mother. She had just begun making up for lost time with Cid. After everything that happened, just when she had started giving him a somewhat stable life now this had to happen?_

_Remembering how after her grandparents died how they left the farm to Lucy. How her grandmother the last time she saw her alive just a few months before she got pregnant with Cid they had gotten into an argument. Her grandmother had called her a whore and she stormed out. She remembered seriously thinking about abortion back in the city after all of this happened and how she went back to the farm like a lost dog with it's tail between it's legs. Lucy had been there for her, making sure she took care of herself though the pregnancy. Trying her hardest to convince her to stay and raise the baby with her. _

_But Sara didn't want the responsibility. She was too wrapped up with herself. For those nine or so months her sister kept her clean and as soon as she had Cid she left. She remembered it was just a few days after leaving the hospital. How she hadn't even wanted to hold him as she passed him onto her on the porch and drove away, refusing to look back._

_Money wasn't an issue, neither was the thought of being in love with Joe. For these past few weeks with just him and Cid she knew she had fallen head over heels in love with him. The idea of staring a family with somebody who honestly made her heart race whenever she saw him should have made her thrilled. But standing alone in the bathroom she began to worry. What if Joe didn't want this? What if he was angry? How was she going to take care of a baby and Cid? How would Cid feel? Would he be angry? Jealous? What if something happened?"_

_She had been feeling a little sick in the mornings for the past few days but she blamed it on maybe coming down with something. Just yesterday after having her morning coffee her stomach had turned and she hurried herself upstairs and out of sight as she threw up a little in the sink, trying to brush it off as heart burn that got the better of her. _

_She knew she couldn't be certain without either taking a pregnancy test or going to the doctor's. She had been able to go into town a few times but Joe had insisted each time to come along with her. She knew he was still nervous about something happening. _

_She thought about the small general store about fifteen or so miles away. They had to sell tests there. For all she knew it was just her body being weird and adjusting itself._

_Shoving the calendar underneath the sink she knew she had a chance this afternoon to run and get it. Joe was on the back porch cleaning his guns and Cid was taking a nap. She would tell him she was just running to get a few things and be back within a half an hour. Nodding to herself she hurried downstairs before grabbing her purse and walking out._

_It was a beautiful clear day. _

_Joe was sitting on the back steps, his guns laid out around him. One thing he was very careful about was not having them around Cid. Sara was surprised in this because of Joe's background but he was very responsible and didn't like Cid seeing them. He told Sara the only reason he still held onto them was for protection and after what he went though he now didn't believe that children should be shown nor given guns so easily. The only times he had them was at night to keep watch when he couldn't sleep or to clean them like this. Standing there, Sara watched him for a moment before smiling._

_He was so handsome._

_Walking over, her boots clicking against the wooden boards, Joe glanced up._

"_Hey pretty lady."_

_Sara smiled before leaning against the post._

"_Listen I gotta pick up a few things at the store, I won't be long. Mind sticking around the house while Cid is sleeping."_

_Joe looked ip._

"_Yeah sure. You need help?"_

"_No I'm good, I'll be back soon."_

_Leaning down the two of them stared at each other before both smiled and tickled noses. Kissing him gently on the cheek she turned and walked towards her car feeling her stomach bounce inside. _

_Just ten minutes later she found herself in the back of the general store. A small basket in her hands. She had picked up a thing of milk and eggs and now was staring at the small first aid section. There were two different tests. Reading both boxes she sighed and grabbed both of them, feeling nervous and embarrassed._

_When she came home Cid was all ready up. Joe had finished with his guns and they were cleared from the porch. The two of them were sitting underneath the tree reading one of Cid's story tree books. Cid looked still sleepy and was leaning against Joe listening closely and leaning against him. Quickly Sara stashed the boxes in her purse and shoved it upstairs. That evening she found herself upstairs waiting as Joe and Cid were finishing up with the dishes down in the kitchen. She had excused herself to go take a shower. Standing there nervously clicking her nails against the counter she grabbed the box scanning over the directions before looking back down at the plastic strip. She had waited well over two minutes. Taking a deep breath she picked up both of the tests and stared blankly at them._

_Blue._

_Her heart seemed to freeze right in her chest as she stared at them. Blinking she took a second as her stomach churned._

"_Okay..."_

_Carefuly she shoved both tests back in the boxes and hid them underneath a few of her things under the sink. Twisting her hands together she walked out and found Joe tucking Cid in for the night. Trying to push her thoughts away she came in and helped him as they changed him for bed. Cid was very comfortable for Joe and Sara now noticed he would go now easier when he was there. _

_Both gave him kisses before walking out. As always Joe winked at Cid before shutting the door. Linking arms with him the two of them decided to go out back and sit on the porch swing and have a couple of beers. Walking out the two looked out at the dark cane fields and heard the faint sound of crickets in the distance. Sitting, Joe cracked open two bottles for the both of them before clinking his glass against hers._

_Taking a gulp from his bottle he paused before staring at her. She sat beside him, holding the beer and looking at him with slightly nervous eyes Pausing, Joe cocked his head to the side._

"_What?"_

_Sara looked down at the beer._

"_I shouldn't be drinking."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because pregnant women shouldn't drink."_

_Sara blurted out before Joe froze, his bottle risen to his lips. Staring at her he took a second before lowering it._

"_What?"_

"_Pregnant...I think I might be pregnant. I took two home pregnancy tests tonight. I still need to go to the doctor...but I'm pretty sure. I'm never late and you've been the first person I've been with..."_

_She lifted her eyes and felt her cheeks burn._

"_Well in a while..."_

_Joe held his bottle of beer and stared at her speechless. Feeling sick to her stomach Sara put down her own bottle by her feet before staring across at him._

"_Say something."_

_Joe continued staring for a minute or two which to Sara seemed like a lifetime. Finally Joe sat forward and let out a deep breath. Looking at her he suddenly smiled._

"_You sure?"_

_Sara didn't know what to expect, but this was really the last way she believed he would act. Sitting there she gently swung with him on the swing. _

"_Pretty sure..."_

_Joe smiled before staring off, almost lost in trance._

"_Wow..."_

_Snapping out of it he glanced over at her._

"_A few years back...there was this girl...she worked at the club. She was a dancer but worked after hours..."_

"_A whore?"_

_Joe smirked._

"_Yeah...well back at the club in the city, there are these dancers. Girls who work after hours for the loops, we were all regulars I guess..."_

"_Whores?"_

_Sara smirked at Joe who smiled._

"_Yeah well...one of these girls I guess got pretty drugged up and claimed one of the guys took advantage of her. She was pitching a fit and Abe decided to get all the men tested to narrow down who might have done it. Mind you it was none of us...nobody in the crew was that mean or dumb. It ended up being some regular punk who got taken care of. Anyways all the men were tested but I remember mine came back the fastest. I asked if everything was okay and the club doctor and Abe said yeah, trying to hurry me along you know? I sensed something was funny and that asshole Kid Blue blurted out that the test said I was shooting blanks. I don't think I've ever been so pissed before in my whole life. Not only that...I was embarrassed. I went back to the doc asking if it was true and he said I had a low sperm count or something. That I could build it back up and I could have kids in the future but it really was a big maybe if it would ever happen. I remember Abe taking me aside saying it was no big deal but part of me felt really hurt. I mean how messed up is that? I hate to say it but even the sort of lifestyle I had I always sorta liked kids. One of the regular girls had a little girl I saw a few times and liked her. Maybe it was because I never had a chance to be a kid or something...just sorta got to me."_

"_I guess the doctors were wrong...I'm not lying when I said I haven't been with anyone else besides you."_

_Joe smirked shaking his head._

"_I'm not saying that. I knew someday it would happen, the chances weren't that great so I guess it's just sorta a surprise to me."_

"_That makes two of us." _

_Joe laughed._

"_I remember...back when my older self was talking to me...he was talking about his wife and how badly she wanted a baby. I don't know if she had anything to do with it, but when he told me I had a feeling it was us. Guess it's a pretty awful feeling to love somebody and you can't even give them a baby...are you sure Sara?"_

"_Pretty sure, between me being late and the tests...I think I know what the doctor is gonna say."_

_Reaching over Joe squeezed her hand._

"_If it was ever going to happen...I wouldn't have it any other way. I see how you are with Cid. You're a wonderful mother."_

"_Yeah right..."_

"_No really. This is all new to me...I'm still trying to figure it out. Cid and you have helped me a lot. Sometimes I look down at him and I see him looking back and I get this weird overwhelming feeling...but it's good."_

_Sara smiled._

"_Yeah I know what you mean."_

_At the end of the night Joe pulled her close and began gently kissing her up and down the neck. Tilting her head back she held onto them before the two of them locked up and went inside. That night as Joe laid on top of her, between her two spread legs that were slowly wrapping around him, he seemed to be more gentle than he ever had before. He stared deep into her eyes and finally when they finished, panting and flushed they laid together sharing a cigarette._

"_So what do you think?"_

"_I think we better get you to quit these soon."_

_Joe remarked making Sara laugh._

"_No...about the baby?"_

"_What do you think?"_

_Joe took the cigarette and inhaled a deep drag._

"_I think life is pretty weird that I finally knock up the one woman I could honestly see myself with for the rest of my life."_

_Sara looked at him and laughed again._

"_You're joking."_

"_Am I?"_

_Sara saw he was serious._

"_You think we can do this...even with Cid?"_

_Gently he kissed the top of her head and rubbed the side of her arm._

"_I think if we're together than yes...besides I think our kid would be pretty cute."_

_Smiling Sara nuzzled up beside him._

"_I'm scared."_

"_Me too...but we're together and we'll figure it out all right?"_

_Feeling the safest she had in months. Sara didn't say another word before laying her head against Joe's chest and smelling the last of the cigarette before he put it out on the ashtray on the dresser. _

_Sara knew deep down inside even though their baby had just really been made, she knew in her heart that Joe would die for it._


	6. Chapter 6

A horrible cramp overcame Sara as she snapped her eyes shut and slid her hands against the cold metal walls of the safe. Her tiny flashlight was glowing by her side and she gasped for breath as another pain hit her. It reminded her of a mixture of the horrible labor pains she had when she delivered Cid, and the worst period cramp she ever experienced.

Her stomach continued to clinch as she struggled for breath.

Right away she thought of the baby.

She was loosing the baby.

Joe's baby.

"No..."

She whispered before gripping the handle to the door. Letting it swing open she nearly tumbled out before hitting the floor. Feeling sweat roll own her face she tried to stand on her feet but felt dizzy. The cramps were coming faster now in steady waves.

The idea of loosing this baby terrified her.

She knew now that the only reason she had been somewhat able to keep it together and be there for Cid these past few months was because of the baby. Somehow knowing she had a second chance to get things right, that growing inside of her was all she had left of Joe. That their few days together really did result in something, that Joe hadn't of died for nothing. That he not only saved her and Cid...but he also made it possible for his own unborn son to survive.

Slowly she began to crawl across the floor, forcing herself to make it to the phone. If she was able to call an ambulance maybe she could stop this...

"Mamma?"

Freezing in the darkness of her bedroom, Sara turned and saw Cid standing in the doorway. His knees bleeding and tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Mamma! I'm sorry!"

Lifting her head and feeling the sickening warmth and wetness in the crotch of her pants oozing out, she looked at Cid.

"Cid...get the phone...please..."

Cid began to cry.

"Mamma please don't be mad!"

She felt the walls vibrate and her dresser shake. Staring at him she tried her hardest to keep him calm.

"It's okay baby...Mamma just needs to call the doctor, get me the phone okay?"

Cid turned and ran out of the room, hurrying down the stairs before Sara felt another cramp. Turning over she held herself before her vision began to blur.

No...she couldn't let this happen. She couldn't let Joe's baby die...

As darkness over took her, Sara thought just for a second before everything faded out that Joe was there. That he was hurrying into the room, his boots going against the floorboards. A concerned and worried look on his face before he knelt down, gently putting his hands on her.

"Sara?"

Sara's eyes fluttered open. Half expecting to see Joe by her side, she saw the blur of greenish blue lights around her. Closing her eyes and letting them adjust, she blinked for a moment before everything became clear. Laying back she found herself in a hospital bed. Dr. Anderson was sitting on the side of the bed, a warm small smile on his face as he waited for her to come around. Shifting her eyes around the room she saw she was hooked up to a monitor and IV.

"Cid?"'

"He's down the hall coloring with a few of my nurses. You got yourself one smart boy, he knew enough to call 911."

"Is he...okay?"

"He's fine Sara."

Sara looked around and saw she was in a hospital gown. She felt weird and somewhat numb. Laying there her eyes shifted up towards the doctor.

"The baby...did I loose the baby?"

"No Sara, look up there...it's the baby's heartbeat. Everything seems fine."

Sara lifted her eyes enough to glance at the monitor which showed two different heartbeats across a tiny computer screen which she guessed one of which showed her own pulse. Looking down at the IV which was running into her arm, she laid back.

"I was bleeding..."

"Which was perfectly normal. Pregnant woman typically have a bit of discharge and spotting."

"But there was so much blood..."

"It may have seemed that way, but we ran our tests and the baby is fine, heartbeat is nice and strong. When you're pregnant you have much more blood inside of you. It's your uterus stretching to making room for your baby and trust me, I think you're little critter is going to be a big guy."

"So he's okay?"

"You're baby is fine Sara."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I do want to keep you over night. You're very weak from what happened. Once you get a good night rest and some fluids in you we can set you back home tomorrow..."

"Cid..."

"I know you got nobody else seeing that you're alone. Lucky enough we have a few empty beds on this floor and I have a staff of nurses working until morning. We'll get him a little dinner and have him get a good night sleep in the room closest to the main desk. We'll check in on him and you can see him in the morning."

"Can I see him now?"

"Better not, I want you to relax. We told him you're fine and sleeping. Now nurse Linda will be in later to check in on you but I want you to go to sleep. In the morning we'll get a taxi for you and you're boy...but I can't stress more enough for you having to take it easy. I know this was a bad scare but if you really are serious about this baby you have to take care of yourself."

Sara laid back forcing back tears of relief.

"The baby is fine though?"

"He's perfect...trust me. Now lay back and get some rest. I'll make sure you're body is put to bed and I'll see you in the morning."

"Thank you doctor..."

Patting her arm gently he stood before looking down at her and sighing.

"Relax Sara, you're baby is fine."

Sara tried to force a small smile back to him but couldn't instead she wanted until he left the room that she let out a harsh sigh of relief before closing her eyes and struggling with her own tears. Feeling sick to her stomach she laid there before opening her eyes again and looking up at the monitor.

Both pulses looked strong.

Lifting the sheet gently she looked down at herself and saw she was completely dressed in a hospital gown. There wasn't any more blood. Feeling between her legs she kept expecting to see blood. Instead there was nothing. Sliding her palms over her stomach she felt a silent tear roll down her face.

Her baby was okay.

Joe's baby was okay.

Laying there she hated to admit it to herself.

But she was terrified of her own son.

Terrified for herself, and the life of her other unborn child.

_Sara and Joe rode back from town in her car. Cid was fast asleep in the backseat, his head laying against his chest. Sara kept eying Joe who was steering the wheel with one hand and holding the printed out photo of the ultrasound in the other. Amazed by what he saw, he kept glancing at it and smiling. Sitting beside him, completely amused by this, Sara watched him, looking at the photo of the baby with the same expression a child would have on Christmas morning. _

_Dr. Anderson had been very sweet to them. Never really asking too many questions, he shook Joe's hand and allowed him to sit close while he looked Sara over. When he let them hear the baby's heartbeat, she knew she would never forget the look on Joe's face when this happened. It was filled with utter amazement and awe._

_Joe seemed disappointed they couldn't find out the sex yet, but was beyond thrilled when the doctor told them that everything seemed to be perfect and both mother and baby looked fine. _

_Glancing at him she couldn't help but smile. These last few days had seemed so surreal since she took the home pregnancy tests. _

"_So?"_

_Joe glanced at her, a smile still on his face._

"_What?"_

_Sara sat back highly amused as she glanced back at Cid sleeping in the backseat._

"_What do you think?"_

_Joe grinned before looking at the ultrasound one more time before putting it down between them._

"_I think it's going to be a pretty good looking kid."_

"_So...does this man you're gonna be staying for a while?"_

_Glancing at her Joe smirked._

"_Yeah I guess so..."_

_Shifting closer, Sara smiled before running her fingers through his hair as he continued to drive. Faintly smiling, Joe glanced at her as they went down the road._

"_That's one of the few things I remember about my mom."_

"_Huh?"_

"_My mom...can't even remember her face, but I do remember that she used to run her hands through my hair like you're doing...felt nice."_

_Still running her hands through his hair Sara smiled closely watching him. Wondering of their baby would have the same light colored eyes they had. _

_For the next two months, Sara saw a change in Joe. Something that seemed to slowly happen and made her amazed that this was the same man who had first snuck onto her farm to hide in her cane fields. Now staying with them, a free man from his past and future life, he was adjusting to life on the farm with the two of them. No longer was he the junkie hit man who only cared about himself. Now he seemed as if everything that had happened all resulted in leading him here. She watched as the days passed and fell more and more in love with him._

_Now with a baby of his own on the way, he seemed to have changed his outlook on life. She knew better than anybody that this baby was a miracle in his eyes, and he wasn't going to take advantage of it. _

_Night after night he stayed up by habit, keeping watch. In the mornings he was always there, sitting across from her, making Cid giggle during breakfast, and always catching her glance with those haunted green eyes of his._

_Some mornings long before Cid woke up the two of them would sit on the porch swing drinking coffee and tea and watching the sunrise._

_During the day they would tend to the chores together, repair what needed to be done, play with Cid, and usually find themselves enjoying each others company._

_At night after making love they would lay in the darkness, talking for hours before falling asleep._

_As the weeks began to crawl by Sara saw that Joe now called the farm his home. Cid and herself were the family he never had, and his excitement about his pregnancy somehow made her feel as though things were going to be okay._

_He would tease her sometimes whenever they were alone. Kneeling or squatting down and pretending to talk to her stomach. He was ten times more gentle when they made love, and whenever he could his hands always found her stomach._

_He talked about names with her even though she told him it was still early and insisted she never did anything that was too much for her. Whenever she needed to lift something heavy he would always be there to do it. He even put a stop to her trying to get that stump out of the field. _

_He was very interested in when she would be going to the doctor's and kept asking if there was anything he should do. Sara found this cute and endearing. She knew he was nervous and beyond excited at the thought of this baby._

_Night after night after they made love he would end up with his arms around her tight, listening to him breath as his free hand would gently go down and tickle his stomach._

_She knew he had given his heart to this unborn baby and was more than a little scared if anything would happen to them._

_One night, long after Cid was fast asleep, the two laid side by side staring at each other in the darkness. Sara had the strongest urge to pull him forward and kiss him, holding on as tight as she could so he wouldn't leave her as he did every night to stand guard. _

"_Hey..."_

_He smirked across at her._

"_Hey."_

"_So...I've been thinking about it...I guess I should tell you I think I've fallen pretty hard for you."_

_Joe smirked._

"_Oh yeah."_

"_Yeah...you're wonderful with Cid and you don't look at him like he's a monster or a freak. You treat him like how he's supposed to be treated..."_

"_How about you?"_

"_What about me?"_

"_How do I treat you?"_

_Sara smiled._

"_Wonderful..."_

_Reaching over Joe gently stroked the side of her face before Sara reached over and touched his now healed over hand. The hand was still wrapped up, but it had healed over and the two fingers Joe was now missing barley slowed him down in doing anything. Touching him gently there Sara slid her body closer to him and kissed him as hard as he could. When they broke away both were gasping. _

"_Stay with me tonight?"_

"_What?"_

"_Don't go...please just say..."_

_Instead of slipping out of bed that night to stand guard, Joe stayed in bed with her. The two wrapped their bodies close, underneath the comforter, keeping each other warm and listening to each others breathing. _

_Right before dawn Joe woke with a start, his eyes wide and sweat pouring down his face. Half awake, Sara looked up as he sat there, trying to breath._

"_Joe?"_

_She asked in a sleepy voice as she sat up squinting at him. Turning, Joe looked her up and down without saying a word for a moment before touching her arm._

"_Are you okay?"_

_Sara stared at him confused._

"_What?"_

_Joe shook his head, his eyes looking at her stomach._

"_I had a dream...that you were loosing the baby. Are you sure you're all right?"_

_Sara pushed back some of her hair._

"_Yeah of course..."_

_That's when she saw that Joe was shaking, a single tear rolling down his face._

"_Joe?"_

"_Are...you sure?"_

_Her heart breaking she leaned forward and gathered him in her arms like a child. Holding him close she sat with him until he calmed down. Together they laid back in each others arms as the sun began to rise. Wiping his tears away like a child, she stayed with him and ran her fingers through her hair. Joe muttered that he was being stupid, but she knew he was shaken. _

"_Joe I'm fine, it was just a dream...trust me."_

_An hour later Joe was fast asleep. Listening to his breathing and still stroking his hair, she laid there wondering why such a nightmare would put such a scare into a man like Joe?_


	7. Chapter 7

Sara insisted on having another ultrasound done before she went home. The bleeding had stopped by morning as did the cramps, but still Sara kept expecting to look down one second and find more blood. Once the doctor showed her the screen and she saw the outline of her growing baby, a heavy weight lifted off her as she sighed with relief. The doctor explained that the baby looked fine and the heartbeat was still strong.

Cid in the morning didn't talk much. The nurses all fussed over how cute he was and together the rode a taxi paid for by the doctor back out to the farm. Cid sat beside her staring out the window.

After they were dropped off, the two of them went inside before Cid crawled up to the table and sat down. Sara honestly didn't know what to do with herself. She was wearing sweats from the hospital and she still felt sleepy and on edge. Putting tea on she turned to find Cid wiping away his tears.

"What's wrong honey?"

Cid looked up at her.

"Are you mad at me?"

Sara sighed and sat down at the table, reaching out and touching his tiny little hand.

"No baby, of course not."

"I tried to control it...I guess I just got scared."

"We talked about that, it's going to happen from time to time. We just have to get you to calm down and control it. If you can't we won't be able to get you to start school...and you're a very bright boy."

Cid sniffled.

"I almost hurt the baby...I'm sorry."

"You're brother is just fine. He's still inside my tummy growing."

"You miss Joe don't you?"

Sara paused, whenever she really did stop enough to think about him it hurt. Taking a second she nodded.

"Yeah...I do."

"I was going to give this to you last night after dinner. It slipped underneath one of the counters. I found it after Christmas when one of my cars rolled under there..."

Cid slid a tiny wallet size photo across the table at her. Looking down Sara raised an eyebrow before turning the tiny photo over. There in black and white was a photo of Joe.

The most overwhelming sudden feeling crashed into Sara's heart she honestly couldn't breath. It had been going on nearly six months since she last laid eyes on Joe. This was right before she wrapped him up and buried him in the backyard. The last time he spoke to her was in the cane, telling her to take Cid and run. This was the first time she had seen his face in all this time besides her mind. Looking down she remembered when that man Jessie had come looking for Joe, he had given her two tiny photos. Both of Joe. The older one she knew must have disappeared.

Touching it gently with her finger tips she couldn't believe she had forgot about it.

Lifting her eyes she couldn't control her tears. All these lonely months of being alone came down at her for once. She had never wanted to see somebody at this exact moment like she did with Joe. Lowering her head she let out the same hopeless moan of a cry like she did when she finally broke down the night Joe had killed himself and put her head down on the table.

Cid watched his mother cry for nearly ten minutes straight. Finally Sara lifted her head, her eyes raw and red from crying before she sniffled and roughly rubbed her eyes like a child.

"Oh baby..."

Gathering Cid in her arms she held his close and rocked him for what seemed like forever. Finally once she got control of herself she brushed back his bangs, smiling through her tears before kissing his forehead. She knew she could do better. She would raise him as she had promised Joe. This power of his wouldn't hurt anyone.

She swore by it.

That evening Sara went to bed early, laying in the same bed the baby in her was conceived, she looked at the tiny photograph in her hands before wiping away one of her tears. Laying the photo against her chest she counted herself lucky. At least she could show the baby growing up what his father looked like. At least now she had a photo of him to remember when times got tough like this.

Sighing she felt a slight flutter inside her for just a brief moment. Laying back she froze before her hand slid down to her stomach.

It was her baby, and he was alive.

_Cid stood in the doorway of the upstairs bathroom. He stared up at Joe who was wearing his jeans and an undershirt, a towel thrown over one shoulder as he was in the process of shaving. Stopping, Joe turned, shaving cream still on his face before looking down at him. Right away he smirked._

"_Hey little man."_

"_What are you doing Joe?"_

_Cid asked shuffling over and staring up. Joe put down his razor._

"_I'm shaving."_

"_Why?"_

"_Well because I really don't think your mom would like me with a beard."_

"_Can I do it?"_

"_When you're older, right now you're lucky you don't have to...I can show you when it comes that time."_

"_Really?"_

_Joe smiled._

"_Of course."_

"_Can I watch you?"_

_Joe smiled leaning down and picking Cid up. Placing him on the counter he held up the can of shaving cream._

"_This is shaving cream, you put it on you're face first...wanna squirt some out?"_

_Cid's eyes lit up as he nodded. Handing him the can, Cid looked it over before Joe pointed._

"_Just press down there..."_

_Joe did with all his might and a long string of foam squirted out onto Joe's shirt. Giggling Cid held the can as Joe laughed._

"_You think that's funny huh?"_

_Taking a finger of the cream off himself he dabbed it on Cid's nose making him giggle even harder. _

_Walking down the hall, Sara was carrying the laundry basket before stopping and looking in on them. Smiling. Together Joe and Cid were having a shaving cream fight, laughing back and forth. Watching them warmed her heart._

_Cid finally had what he needed the most._

_A father._

_Afterwards when Cid was down for his nap, Sara and Joe found themselves in the field where the old broken down stump was. Joe handed her the rifle she kept._

"_It's about time I teach you show to shoot with real bullets."_

_Sara made a face holding the rifle._

"_I can shoot just fine."_

"_Yeah, you would do great on a blunderbuss. Here is the real thing and we aren't using any of that rock salt shit."_

_Rolling her eyes, Sara held the gun as Joe walked behind her, gently putting his hands around her and making her lift the gun._

"_Now nice an easy put it into the crook of you're arm...cradle it..."_

_He whispered leaning in close. Smiling Sara held the gun before Joe showed her how to level it and aim._

"_Now there's a kick, brace yourself and release when you hear the click...take a deep breath..."_

"_Should we really be doing this when Cid is asleep?"_

"_Are you kidding me that kid sleeps like the dead, come on now."_

"_Why you teaching me this?"_

"_Because it's about time. Besides there might be a time you might need to defend you're self and I'm not there. You do have a little one...and you are pregnant."_

"_Yeah no thanks to you."_

_Joe smiled as he leaned in closer helping her hold the gun._

"_Wise ass..."_

_Sara smiled before Joe counted to three and she pulled the trigger. He was right about the kick and it took Sara somewhat of surprise as it fired loudly and hit the side of the stump, splintering pieces of wood. Joe stood back._

"_Not bad."_

_The remainder of the day Joe showed her how to shoot all his guns. While her aim wasn't exactly the greatest Joe seemed impressed by how fast she was picking up on it. Towards the end she even fired the blunderbuss before making a face and handing it back to him._

"_I don't like that."_

_That evening after dinner Sara laid out on her back on the bed while Joe slowly danced his fingers across her stomach._

"_What do you think it is?"_

_Sara asked up at him. Looking down Joe eyed her stomach._

"_The baby?"_

"_Yeah?"_

_Joe shrugged._

"_Don't know."_

"_What do you want?"_

"_Doesn't matter to me...both would be nice."_

"_Got any names picked out?"_

_Joe looked down at her stomach before laying down beside her. Gently he kissed her lips before pulling back. As he spoke Sara's hands began to tug up his shirt and slide down his pants._

"_Do you?"_

"_Yeah a coupl..._

"_Let's hear them."_

_Joe propped himself up on his elbow as Sara leaned in towards him, still undoing his pants._

"_Well...Annabel is it's a girl."_

_Joe smiled._

"_I like that..."_

"_You would want a little girl?"_

_Joe smirked as her hand wrapped around him making him stiffen. Smiling and looking a little out of breath he nodded before looking into her eyes._

"_Yeah...I would. We would make her a girls girl though...pink dresses, dolls...the whole bit."_

_Sara made a face and laugh._

"_Oh would you?"_

"_Yeah...she might end up being a tomboy like her mom."_

_Sara gave him a playful squeeze making him gasp. Leaning in close, she began to kiss his jawbone._

"_You like that?"_

"_Don't...stop..."_

_He was able to gasp out. Sara continued to tug on him gently, squeezing and releasing before Joe steadied his voice enough to go on._

"_And a boy?"_

"_Joe."_

_Joe stopped and stared down at her, a faint smile on his face._

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah..._

_Joe covered her mouth with his, kissing her deeply before his good hand slipped and began cupping her breasts. A few minutes later Sara found herself slowly rising and lowering herself on top of Joe. Holding her by her hips, he stared up at her as Sara arched her back and hung her head down before catching her breath. Tucking her hair behind her ear she stared down at him before she smiled and leaned down, her lips sweeping against his. _

"_Marry me Joe."_

_Joe looked up at her._

"_What?"_

_Unexpected, Joe snapped his eyes shut before roughly finishing. Feeling warmth nearly instantly Sara looked down at him amused before Joe opened his eyes looking slightly embarrassed. _

"_Did you...just propose to me?"_

_Sara smiled._

"_Yeah I guess I did.'_

"_You know...usually it's the man's job to do that."_

"_Yeah well I'm not into tradition. So...how about it?"_

"_Are you serious?"_

"_If you are..."_

_Joe reached up gently sliding his hand against her cheek. Holding his damaged hand, Sara kissed his fingers one by one before looking down._

"_So...will you?"_

_Joe reached and pulled her down on him before he wrapped his arms around her. Turning the two of them over, he rolled on top of her before kissing her and pressing his forehead against her._

"_Yes."_

_Smiling, she ran her hand though his hair._

Sara was now nearly seven months. But at first glance you would have thought she was on the verge of her due date.

In just the matter of a few weeks her body seemed to change giving her little to no control. Her stomach grew and grew before there seemed to be a large blown up ball underneath all her sundresses and blouses. Her doctor visits were going fine and so far she was told everything looked to be fine.

The baby was kicking more now, keeping her up most nights as it shifted and rested against her bladder. Her feet felt swollen, and her emotions were all over the place. One second she would be happy beyond words, the next she would have to go into the safe to cry her eyes out if the mood caught her the wrong way. She remembered when she was pregnant with Cid. How she had gotten off the hard stuff and how it had been her sister that kept her straight. She remembered how awful she had been, waiting just to have the baby and to escape this responsibility.

This pregnancy seemed completely different. As the days turned into weeks, she watched as her body grew with the baby inside of her. The doctor kept reminding her that everything was fine and not to worry. That she was just going to have a big baby. Still, she wished she had Joe around to witness some of it. It was tough enough being alone with Cid and running the farm, but now being able to less and less was driving her crazy.

She had tried her hardest to eat right and get plenty of sleep. She gave up smoking which had been one of the hardest things to do, most of all when her nerves became short. She stopped drinking tea and coffee, and bought a few baby books to catch up on how to be the healthiest for herself and the baby.

She didn't have any friends and barley anyone to talk to. All she really had was Cid who had been wonderful and a great help to her. There hadn't been any further outbursts since that night. In fact he had seemed really excited and happy about the baby. Whenever he got the chance he would feel her stomach and grin up at her.

All he talked about was the new baby and spent most evenings after practicing his writing and math drawing and painting for things to hang in the nursery.

Sara decided her grandparent's old room would be the best for the nursery and now that money wasn't a problem she knew she better get started on it.

Still, things just didn't seem right.

It was Joe who should have been there with her.

Joe who should have gone to the doctor's with her, hold her hair when she got sick, rub her feet and make her laugh. Joe was supposed to be there to calm her nerves when she got worried, feel her stomach whenever their baby kicked.

She would day dream seeing him in a T-shirt, painting the room down the hall for the nursery.

Instead he was dead.

This reality was making it harder and harder for Sara with each passing day.

Running her hands over the curve of her belly, she stared out one early spring morning at her fields and decided what she was going to name her boy.

"Joseph Jr...Joe for short."


	8. Chapter 8

It was official.

Sara's due date had finally come and passed. It was late May and the weather had picked up for the better, creating a beautiful season. As always Sara had hired on men to tend the fields and prepare for the up coming summer.

The nights had been warm and nearly every evening after she put Cid to bed she would sit out on her rocking chair, hands on her round belly feeling the baby kick against her as she looked out at the cane and then down to Joe's unmarked grave. Most nights a warm wind would come and she would listen to it, making everything move. She found it comforting that she had buried Joe so close. She knew he deserved better, but each time she looked down at that spot underneath the tree, her hands found firmly touch her stomach and she would feel his son moving inside. This was the miracle baby that in all matters speaking shouldn't have happened. Just one night, one night of desire and passion resulted in this. One night that as unladylike as it sounded, she felt the urge and need of a man. After being so scared she needed his touch and warmth.

She would replay that night over and over again in her mind. How she had been wearing her short lace nightdress. Laying there listening to the wind and thunder. Cid was fast asleep down the hall and Joe was keeping watch on the porch. She remembered feeling her smooth thighs and knowing she was ready. Her heart pounding she clicked the frog, hoping she wouldn't make a fool of herself.

She knew it was crazy, but she had fallen for him the moment Cid and him climbed out from the trap door her grandfather had built that connected to the tunnel from the basement. How she watched Joe help him out and stood there as Cid ran to her. She remembered picking her son up and staring at Joe. His brilliant green eyes staring at her and his face understanding and calm.

She remembered listening to him hurry up the stairs, how he had come in asking what was wrong. How she had grabbed him and kissed him as hard as she could, hoping he wouldn't reject her and push her away. Instead he seemed more caught off guard than anything else. He stood there as she pushed him forward, making him knock back into the dresser. She put her arms around his neck, feeling his labored breathing as her mouth opened and closed over his and their noses pressed against each other.

How he had put his blunderbuss on the dresser and his hands slid against her body, holding her as she continued kissing him, feeling ready to rip his clothes off if he didn't hurry. He grabbed her as they kissed, both frantic as he began leading her to the bed. She helped him shrug off his jacket as he laid her down. Falling on top of her, breathing heavy, he laid there kissing her as his hands began to yank up her dress. She held onto him, kissing and feeling her whole body willing to do whatever he wanted. He laid all his weight on top of her, pushing her into the mattress as his hands began to pull down, cupping and fondling her breasts. She kept kissing him as her hands went to his belt and began to undo it, her fingers slightly shaking.

She remembered how he had helped her, yanking down his fly and pushing down his pants and boxers. She laid there not bothering to take her dress off since he had bunched it up enough around her waist. She laid there as he pulled himself up and she looked down at him, licking her lips and feeling her own sweat pour off her.

He pushed her down again, kissing her as he laid on top of her, spreading her legs. He took a second adjusting himself and finally slid into her. Taking a second she softly gasped before he stared down at her. His green eyes locking with her blue. She looked up at him as he pressed his forehead against hers.

"Stay with me Sara..."

He softly said, keeping her from finishing herself. She hadn't been with a man for so long and it seemed too much for her. She felt all ready without little to no movement her body ready to fall into an orgasm. Just feeling his swollen self deep inside of her, filling her up as she felt his own heart pound from underneath his shirt. She laid there with him inside of her and laid back, ready.

He began to slowly thrust, one bit at a time. He took long slow strokes into her making her hips respond. The sex didn't last more than ten or so minutes but as he began to hurry his pace she stared up at him feeling herself ready to let go. Clutching onto his back she laid underneath him hearing the gentle creak of the bed as he moved inside of her. Tilting her head back she gasped as he used his hand to stiffen her from crying out. He gritted his teeth and finally finished, collapsing on top of her.

There was silence for a while besides the sound of them catching their breath. Finally he lifted his head, his face flushed before she leaned up and gently held onto his rough sandpaper like cheeks. He kissed her and then slid out, making her feel empty and incomplete.

She laid back, still in a lazy daze from the sex and sat herself up, grabbing her cigarettes and ashtray. If she ever deserves a smoke it would be now. Joe sat up, pulling up his pants and fixing his shirt.

"You okay?"

She stared at him and smiled.

Moments later as he finished fixing himself, she began to spin her lighter.

With that they had made the baby.

Sara found herself standing in what was now the nursery. She had taken what was Cid's old crib from the attic and cleaned it up. She sanded it down and now it sat in the center of the room with new bedding. She had used a lot of the old furniture and had made the nursery her latest project to keep busy. She really didn't believe in spending money freely, even though she was perfectly set. Instead she used a lot of the things she all ready had and now it had finally all came together. She had hired Mr. Miller's grandson to come and paint the room since she read up that the fumes weren't good for her. Mr. Miller's grandson was sixteen and a nice enough kid who she overpaid and made him lunch. He painted the room a nice light blue and even moved around some o the heavy furniture. Cid silently watched him as he worked for those two afternoons.

Sara knew word traveled fast and in town most likely everyone was talking about her. A lot of those people thought Cid was her sister's and he was simply calling her mom since he was so young. She knew how old fashion a lot of these families were and everyone must have been talking about how she was all alone raising Cid, pregnant with the father of the baby nowhere in sight.

Only once Dr. Anderson brought it up, asking if the father had any medical conditions or was allergic to anything. Sara remembered buttoning up her blouse when he asked this and she simply paused for a second saying that the father had passed on. Dr. Anderson only lifted his eyes from her chart for a split second and said he was sorry before moving on.

But Sara didn't care.

She had some of Cid's old baby clothes and had dragged out everything she needed. She had the hospital's number along with the taxi company close in case she did go into labor here. She felt the same way she had before Cid came. Nervous, on edge, ready to laugh or cry. Yet...this baby was different. She wasn't some stupid twenty-two year old. She was looking forward to this baby. This time she knew she was ready. Joe had died for this and she was going to make sure she would raise both her boys right.

Still sadness came over here. This was her second pregnancy where the father wasn't around. Joe should have been here with her, ready to see their baby enter the world.

She knew it would be final once she had the baby. Less than ten months ago he had put it inside of her back when he was living and breathing. Now the thing he had made was about to be born and taken out of her. That would be the last connection she had to Joe ripped and taken away.

Sighing she felt her back ache as she walked around the room, looking at everything.

She walked over to the wooden mobile where tiny carved lambs and stars hung. Standing there she gently touched it hearing it's comforting tune before digging into her pocket and looking at the pocket watch. She had carefully cut the photo of Joe out and put it inside there like a locket. She opened it whenever she felt she needed strength, which was a lot lately.

The baby gently kicked inside of her as Sara smiled looking down at herself.

"Ready to come out huh?"

That's when it happened. A sharp twisting stabbing pain. Very close to the kind she had months ago when she thought she was having a miscarriage. Grabbing onto the cradle her eyes widened as it came again.

"Ah!"

That's when she looked down and saw a gush of water come from between her legs, splashing at her feet under her sundress, wetting the floor. Looking down she couldn't believe it.

Her water had just broke.

"_Hold still."_

_Sara couldn't contain herself as Joe knelt in front of her using the measuring tape from her sewing kit to wrap gently around her very large pregnant stomach. She was just two weeks away from her due date and from what Joe kept saying, she seemed on the verge of popping. Feeling very awkward and big, Sara had a hard tome adjusting to her new carried weight. She had never gotten this big with Cid and more than a few times her emotions had gotten the better of her. _

_Joe meanwhile kept reminding her that she was beautiful. That the bigger she got, the healthier their baby would be. For Sara that wasn't comforting words. Standing she smiled as he brought the tape around and grinned._

"_Okay..."_

"_Let me see..."_

_Sara craned her head down to see before Joe showed her the measurements grinning. Making a face Sara rolled her eyes before Joe stood up laughing and putting the tape on the table._

_Feeling her back ache Sara put her hands to the small of it and paced. Looking over his shoulder Joe motioned towards the living room._

"_You heard what the doctor said, go lay down and get off your feet."_

"_I've had enough with what the doctor says...I've been laying on my ass for the last few months and going crazy. I'm done with being pregnant, it needs to come out now."_

_Joe laughed highly amused before walking over and looking at her stomach._

"_The baby will come when it's ready...only a matter of time now."_

_Sara sighed._

"_I feel like I'm carrying around a ton of bricks. I've been trying everything to kick start the labor but nothing works..."_

"_Give it time you still got two more weeks."_

_Sara slid her hands across her stomach before smiling. Joe raised an eyebrow and looked down at her._

"_Moving?"_

"_Yeah a bunch...right here feel..."_

_Taking Joe's hand she placed it against the side of her stomach where the baby's feet was pressing against the skin of her stomach. Smiling he stood there amazed as he usually did, feeling and staying that way until the baby settled down. On Joe's hand was a simple silver wedding band, a larger version of the tiny one Sara wore on her left hand._

_Both were melted down from one of the silver bars._

_They hadn't had a wedding or even go to city hall. Instead Joe had the rings made and one early spring morning he slipped the ring on her finger and fell asleep with her in her arms, promising that everything would be okay before thanking her for saving him and giving him something to live for._

_It was exactly what she wanted._

_Now she looked at Joe as her husband as well as her friend, lover, and protector. _

_Cid wasn't calling him dad yet but was attached to the hip with him and was doing so much better with Joe being around._

_A few days after he put the ring on her finger, when she came out to bring him some iced tea when he was chopping away at the stump, she smiled and finally asked..._

"_What's your last name?"_

_Joe stopped and laughed._

"_Um...well I really don't know."_

"_You don't know?"_

"_Not my real one no...but I used the last name O' Connor for a while."_

"_Joe...Joe O' Connor. Really?"_

_He laughed as he gulped down the ice tea, sweat rolling down his face and his sleeves rolled up. That night both nearly woke Cid up from laying in bed together and laughing over his fake last name. _

_Both had decided not to find out the sex of the baby. They found this more exciting and for two solid months Joe put all his energy into the upstairs nursery. He painted, polished, and sanded for weeks on end. He had Cid help him with a few things and finally one afternoon the two of them brought Sara in covering her eyes. When he lifted his hands Sara gasped._

_It was perfect,._

_The holidays had passed and Joe admitted this was really the first time he ever celebrated them. He said in the past he would always just go to the club and party really never paying attention to what day it was. Over dinner he seemed so happy and at peace and Sara couldn't help but not take her eyes off him._

_Christmas morning they sat on the couch watching Cid unwrap his gifts and smile at his stunned reactions to all his new toys. That night after Cid had passed out they sat together watching the lights from the tree and the snow that had begun to come down._

_In February Joe mentioned that his birthday had passed or at least what h believed was his birthday and Sara scolded him for not telling her. That night they took a nice steaming hot bath together. Gently she rubbed his back and chest, running her fingers over his now healed scars. _

_As spring came she began teaching him everything she had learned about farming. He seemed very eager to learn and paid attention as she showed him the equipment and her weather charts on how to look after the cane._

_Now with their own baby almost here it seemed crazy that in just a few months it would mark a year since Joe first arrived at the farm. She still remembered clearly him puking in front of her and barley able to stay conscience on the porch floor._

_Just as Joe was feeling the baby kick, Cid appeared in the doorway, moody and glaring at them._

_The day before Cid had gotten into some of Joe's guns down in the basement and was caught trying to hold one. Joe didn't mean it but he had yelled at Cid more out of fright than anger. Cid had stormed off running up to the room and in the process had cracked three windows. Joe had gone to him saying he was sorry but explained how dangerous the guns were and how he should never go near them. Cid refused to talk to him and that night Joe felt awful._

"_I shouldn't have yelled..."_

_He explained to Sara as they got ready for bed. Shaking her head she touched his arm._

"_You didn't yell, you did what any other parent would have done. Cid is a bright boy and he knows better. This is exactly what he needs if we want to raise him right."_

_Still, Joe felt terrible._

_For most of this morning Cid had stayed upstairs. Now he had finally showed his face. Stopping both Joe and Sara looked at him. Sara understood why Cid felt this way. Joe was his hero and somebody he looked up to. Being yelled at by him was the worst thing that could happen, most of all when he was trying to hold one of his guns to look just like him._

"_Hey monkey, you hungry?"_

_Cid just glared._

_Joe cleared his throat._

"_Sleep good kiddo."_

"_You two don't love me."_

_Cid said simply making both Joe and Sara give each other a look._

"_What?"_

"_You only love your new baby...not me...you hate me."_

"_Cid..."_

"_Cid that's crazy. We both love you..."_

"_No you don't...you only love your new baby...well I HATE THE BABY!"_

_Joe and Sara saw the bowls and plates on the table begin to shaker. Sara stared at Cid ready for him to explode._

"_Cid honey...calm down..."_

_Cid's face turned bright red as he made tiny fists at the side of him._

"_I HATE THE BABY! I WISH IT WOULD DIE IN YOUR TUMMY! I HATE IT!_

"_Cid..."_

"_I HATE IT! I HATE IT!"_

_A force wave came out and blew both Joe and Sara right across the kitchen at the same time, slamming against the wall and flipping over the table._

_Slowly Joe's eyes fluttered open. Staring up at the ceiling of the kitchen, his vision blurred before clearing. He didn't know how long he had been laying there. Slowly he lifted his head and saw that Cid had ran off. The table and chairs were tumbled over and all the bowls and plates were broken and shattered across the floor. _

_Sitting there feeling a knot in the back of his head he looked over and froze. Sara laid beside him, turned to her side, her hair hanging in her face. Right away his eyes widened._

"_Sara!"_

_He shook her arm but she didn't move._

"_Please God no..."_

_He shook her again and this time her eyes opened. Joe grabbed onto her and right away he felt blood on his finger tips from the back of her head. _

"_Cid...where's Cid?"_

_Sara asked as she tried to sit up. Joe stopped her._

"_Don't move..."_

_Sara sat up dispute his efforts and held the back of her head where she whacked it. Looking at the kitchen she let out a heavy sigh of defeat. He hadn't really had any episodes since Joe had stayed here. Now this..._

"_He must have run outside..."_

_Sara tried to get up but Joe held her down by the shoulder._

"_Don't move...I'll go."_

_Standing, Joe felt a horrible ache in his back and neck but ran out of the kitchen and into the backyard where Cid sat underneath the tree with his head in his hands. He noticed the tractor and the chairs from the porch were all knocked over. Slowly Joe approached him._

"_Cid?"_

_Cid lifted his eyes, tears streaming down his face. Sniffling he looked up at him._

"_I'm sorry daddy!"_

_Joe was speechless as Cid jumped up and ran to his legs wrapping his arms around them and squeezing tight. Standing there for a second, Joe lifted him up and held him tight, gently stroking his hair and trying to hold back his own tears._

"_Cid...you need to stop this, you could have killed your mother..."_

_Cid sniffled before Joe knew upsetting him anymore would make it worse. Stroking his hair he stayed that way until Cid calmed down. Walking back to the house, he opened up the screen door and stepped inside. Sara had turned one of the chairs upright and was sitting in it. Her face pale and her hands on her stomach. Joe stepped inside when Sara looked up, her eyes filled with tears._

"_The baby isn't moving Joe."_

Sara couldn't remember the ambulance ride. She had been able to grab the phone in the kitchen and call it before another contraction hit her hard enough to make her loose her footing and slide down to the floor. She called out for Cid who came in holding his stuffed dog.

"Cid baby...go get my bag upstairs, the doctor people are coming to get me and take me to the hospital."

Cid still sleepy from his nap looked at her.

"Are you sick?"

"No baby, I'm ready to have the baby."

"Are they gonna take it out of your tummy?"

Sara smiled and nodded, trying not to show him how badly she was in pain.

"Yep that's right honey.'

Cid came back with the bag and sat down beside her until the paramedics came.

Now she found herself in the hospital. Here was nobody to call so Cid had been taken down to the nurse's station where they reassured her that he would be fine. Everything began to blur together once they injected something into her IV. Sitting up in the hospital bed, her hair tied back she had been in labor so for for the last three hours.

Dr. Anderson had come in saying she wasn't dilated enough and she might have a while to go. A monitor was hooked up and the baby's heartbeat still seemed strong. He then told her that Mr. Miller's wife offered to watch Cid. At first she felt like refusing but she knew the old couple would be gentle and kind with Cid and keep him safe while she was here. An hour into labor Mr. Miller's wife Betty came looking older as she usually did. She remarked that Sara should have called her since she would have loved to babysit and told her how wonderful it was that she was having another baby. Sara couldn't thank her enough and said she would pay her. Shaking her head she said it was out of the question and she would love to watch Cid and promised he would be in good hands. Sara gave her the key to the house saying where everything was and thanked her again. Right before she left she brought Cid in who crawled onto the bed and stared at her.

"Is the baby coming?"

"Soon honey."

"Can I come back later?"

"Maybe not tonight but in the morning I promise. The doctor will call and Mrs. Miller will bring you. Now you mind your manners and be good all right?"

Cid hugged her before kissing her belly and crawled off. Watching him go made her heart ache but she knew it was better he was home. A few minutes later another wave of contractions came and Sara felt as if she was being torn apart.

It was nearly night fall when Dr. Anderson came in with one of the nurses. By then Sara's hair was drenched with sweat and she kept feeling as though she was on the verge of passing out. Trying to breath she sat forward feeling as if her stomach was now stiff and solid.

"Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me!"

She cried rocking back and forth. The nurse went to the monitor before Dr. Anderson wheeled over a stool and checked between her legs.

"Okay Sara, I think we're finally there. I'm going to need you to sit up."

Another nurse came in going right to Sara's side, helping her sit up and scoot down on the bed as much as she could. Feeling faint, everything seemed too bright. The other nurse came over and put an oxygen mask over her face for a moment before taking it away.

Dr. Anderson looked up.

"Okay, I need you to push as hard as you can, all right Sara?"

Sara panted for breath as one of the nurses held her hand.

"Okay, one...two...three!"

Sara snapped her eyes shut squeezing the nurse's hand as she bore down with all her might. A horrible pain ripped through her as she stopped gasping for breath and crying.

"Again, push!"

Sara leaned forward pushing with all her might.

"Again push!"

Screaming Sara leaned forward pushing before after a minute or so couldn't find the strength. Laying back on the bed, Sara tossed her head from side to side, the pain making her feel as if she might die.

"Sara again I see the head!"

"I want Joe!"

Sara cried out. Dr. Anderson and the nurses exchanged a look before Sara snapped her eyes shut and began crying like a child.


	9. Chapter 9

Sara threw her head back in complete agony. Despite what they had given her she still felt as though she was being torn apart. Gripping the sheets, she laid back, sweat pouring down her face as she gasped for breath. The nurse placed the oxygen mask over her face again for a minute before gently stroking her hand. Staring up at the ceiling she tried to prepare herself before the next contraction hit her.

"Sara the baby is crowning...I need you to take a deep breath and push until I say so."

Sara felt as though she had been pushing for a lifetime, her entire body from the waist down felt as if it wasn't there. Her insides though felt as though they were being slowly ripped out of her. Laying back she tried to control her breathing. Trying to steady herself, she allowed the nurse to sit her up. Looking down at Dr. Anderson. Panting she squeezed the nurse's hand.

"Something is wrong...I know it."

"Your doing fine Sara, now bare down...ready?"

Sara didn't think she had the strength, looking over the doctor's shoulder she saw Joe leaning against the wall. His arms crossed and his face set as he watched her. He looked exactly as he did the day he died.

Staring at him she wanted to cry out his name, beg him to help her. Instead she shut her eyes and leaned forward. Taking a deep breath she bit down on her lip and used all her strength to push.

"He's coming, another push! Come on Sara!"

Crying out Sara snapped her eyes shut as tight as she could and as her face became flushed she screamed and gave all her strength to push.

"Almost here, one more come on Sara you can do it!"

Sara opened her eyes, her vision blurring as she stared at the wall where Joe had been a second ago. She knew she needed to do this, she had to be strong. This was Joe's baby and she had to have the strength he would have given her. Taking a deep breath she pushed as hard as she could and felt the feeling of the baby being slid out of her. Right away she saw as Dr. Anderson pulled the screaming infant out of her and into his gloved hands.

Right away the sound of his cries filled the room.

Gasping for breath she fell back against the bed as she watched Dr. Anderson smile and hold the screaming baby up. Weakly she stared before smiling. There in his hands was her baby boy.

He was red and wet, his tiny hands balled into fists. The cord still attached. He was screaming before all the nurses smiled.

"There's your baby!"

Dr. Anderson lowered him for a moment before cutting the cord and wrapping him up in a blanket. Handing him to one of the nurse's they brought him to the scale where he continued to cry loudly. Sara laid there almost in a trance as the nurses cleaned him up. Walking over the nurse smiled and handed Sara the baby which was now wrapped up in a light blue blanket. Laying him on her chest, Sara right away felt the warmth come off him.

"You got a big boy, ten pounds two ounces...breathing is normal."

Sara stared down at the baby who slowly began to settle down. His cries became softer and softer as he just laid there with his eyes shut. Staring down at him in utter amazement she tried to remember back when she had Cid. She remembered not wanting to hold him, just laying there sulking as her sister cooed to him and remarked on how beautiful he was. She hated that she was ignored him, chafing to just get out and run.

Instead this time she laid there, looking down at the baby she had carried for so long. Looking at the little baby with his knit blue cap on. Reaching, she gently stroked his soft cheek with her finger.

"Hey baby..."

"Do we have a name for him?"

Sara lifted her eyes and faintly smiled.

"Yeah...Joe...his name is Joe."

_Joe hurried over to Sara, his eyes big with worry. _

"_What?"_

_Sara had her hands placed firmly on her stomach. Looking up at him her voice was broken and scared sounding._

"_He isn't moving..."_

_Joe hurried over before staring down._

"_What do you mean?"_

_Sara shook her head._

"_He isn't moving at all...look!"_

_Grabbing his arm she placed it right on the curve of her stomach, pressing it in. The last two months the baby had been very active. Whenever Joe or herself pressed into her stomach they would feel him shift or move. It had gotten so bad that most nights she was kept awake. Joe would always stay up with her. He would fix her hot chocolate and himself coffee. They would curl up on the couch and just talk until finally the baby settled down, making her drift off against him. _

_Looking down, Joe felt her stomach before looking deep in thought. Pressing into the side of her stomach with his damaged hand, he kept feeling before standing up straight and shaking his head. _

"_I'm calling an ambulance..."_

_Walking over to the counter where the cordless phone was. Slowly Sara eased herself out of the chair. That's when a sharp pain hit her, causing her knees to buckle._

"_AH!"_

_Falling, she hit the floor hard. Spinning around, Joe watched her before running over._

"_SARA!"_

_Sara braced herself up on her hands before Joe grabbed her around the waist trying to lift her up._

"_Joe something hurts..."_

"_Come on..."_

"_No..."_

_Not listening to her, Joe took a second before reaching and picking her up. Taking a second he took a deep breath and lifted her up, trying to balance the weight. Sara held onto her stomach before Joe started towards the door, kicking it back._

"_Come on, I'm taking you to the hospital..."_

_Cid ran over from the yard._

"_Mamma!"_

_Joe walked over to the car still carrying Sara._

"_Cid, open the door for me."_

"_Is mamma okay?"_

"_She's fine big guy..."_

"_Did I do that?"_

"_No kiddo, just open the door."_

_Cid hurried over, pulling the passenger door open as Joe walked over and carefully slid Sara in. Looking at her, he was sweating._

"_You okay?"_

_Sara nodded still holding her stomach._

"_Yeah, just hurry.'_

_Slamming the door, Joe opened the back one._

"_Hope in."_

_Cid looked in at his mother before looking up at Joe._

"_I didn't mean it..."_

"_It's okay Cid, just get in the car, we need to take your mom to the hospital."_

"_Is the baby coming?"_

"_Maybe...come on."_

_Quickly Cid got inside before leaning over the front seat._

"_I'm sorry mamma..."_

_Sara was trying to breath before she glanced back at him._

"_It's okay pumpkin...put you're safety belt on."_

_Climbing into the driver's seat, Joe dug into his side pocket to start the engine. Using his hand to hold the back of Sara's seat, he looked back as he backed up and turned the car down down the road. Cid sat back with wide scared eyes as Joe kept nervously eying Sara. Speeding down the road, he held the steering wheel with one hand as the other touched Sara's shoulder._

"_You okay?"_

"_Yeah just hurry?"_

"_Where does it hurt?"_

"_Just hurry Joe..."_

_Pressing his foot on the gas, he kept eying her looking nervous. Just then Sara leaned forward, her hands on the front of the dashboard. _

"_Oh my God..."_

_Joe looked over._

"_What?"_

_Sara looked down, there was blood coming from the crotch of her slack. Slowly she reached down and brought her hand up, her fingertips covered in blood. Staring at it almost in a trace, Sara saw Joe glance over before nearly driving off the road._

"_Jesus..."_

_Holding the wheel, he made the car go nearly up to ninety before reaching over and squeezing her hand._

"_It's okay, we're almost there..."_

"_Mamma?"_

_Sara leaned down, holding her stomach as another pain hit her. _

"_It's okay baby...just sit back...it's okay..."_

_Sitting back Cid sat looking up at the rear view mirror at Joe who kept looking over at his mother. Leaning forward she kept making noises and holding onto the dashboard. Feeling scared, confused, and worried for her, Cid felt the same wave of emotions about to hit him. Looking down at his hands, he willed himself to calm down and make it go away. He knew if he started to cry it might get away from him and there could be an accident. He hated himself for doing it again. He really didn't mean it. He loved his mother and Joe. He knew they wanted this baby really bad, and he kept wishing it would be a little brother so he could play with. He knew if he did something to hurt the baby they might never forgive him._

_In fact...they might make him go away forever._

_Less than ten minutes later they reached the hospital. Joe nearly forgot to put the car in park in the ambulance bay before getting out shouting for somebody to come. _

_As two orderlies came hurrying over, they helped Sara into a wheelchair. Not even bothering to pull the car around, Joe picked Cid up and hurried inside. Running to keep up with them, Joe carried Cid before they stopped at the nurse's station._

"_Please, page Dr. Anderson my...wife is having a miscarriage..."_

_Right away a few of the nurses came around before one of the paramedics walked over._

"_Hey buddy, you gotta move your car."_

_Joe stared at him hopeless before the paramedic eyed Sara and saw the blood which was dripping from underneath her. His face fell before he looked back at Joe holding Cid._

"_Oh...okay...um do you have your keys I can move it for you."_

"_I let them in the engine."_

"_Okay, I'll move it out back."_

"_Thank-you..."_

_Joe said, his eyes still scared. Turning, he faced the nurses as they began to wheel Sara down the hall. Turning back in the wheelchair, Sara looked for him._

"_Joe!"_

"_I'm coming!"_

_Just then a younger nurse walked over, a friendly smile on her face. Right away she looked at Joe and Cid._

"_Hi, what's you're name?"_

_Cid hid his face against Joe's shirt before she smiled._

"_Don't be shy...I got some coloring books I think you might like."_

_Cid looked out at her and sniffled._

"_My mamma fell down...her baby is sick."_

"_It's okay honey, why don't you come with me for a while so your daddy and go check on her all right?"_

_Cid looked up at Joe who nodded. Wiping his eyes, Cid looked at the nurse as Joe lowered him to the ground. Looking at the nurse, he ruffled Cid's hair._

"_Mind watching him, I just gotta..."_

_The nurse took Cid by the hand and smiled at Joe._

"_Don't worry he'll be fine."_

"_Thank you..."_

_Looking down at Cid, Joe knelt for a second._

"_I'm going to go check on your mom...you stay here with this nice lady and be good all right?"_

_Cid sniffled again._

"_I'm sorry..."_

_Sighing, Joe's heart broke for him. Gathering him in his arms, he hugged him tight and ran his fingers through his hair._

"_You have nothing to be sorry about. I love you."_

_Cid rested his head against Joe's shoulder before Joe pulled back and forced a smile. Touching his cheek gently, he stood up and thanked the nurse again before hurrying down the hall._

A few hours later Mrs. Miller brought Cid in to see Sara. She was resting and had just finished the baby. Holding him, she knew she was going to have a hard time giving him back so he could go back to the nursery. For the past few minutes she had just been staring down at him. He was wrapped up in his blanket, cleaned up wearing his little cap. Resting against her chest, he seemed perfectly content and had only been a little fussy when they brought him in. Looking him over she still couldn't believe he was here. Staring at him, she kept gently touching his tiny little face. He seemed so...perfect.

Mrs. Miller came walking in, Cid by her side.

"There's somebody who wants to say hello."

Sara looked over and her eyes lit up.

"Hey monkey!"

Cid grinned and hurried over before stopping at the side of the bed and staring down.

"Is...that him?"

Sara smiled speaking in a soft voice.

"This is your little brother Joe..."

Cid smiled staring down.

"Like Joe?"

"Yeah."

"Can I hold him?"

"He's sleeping right now but maybe tomorrow honey."

"He's like a doll."

"Yeah..."

Sara gazed down at the baby before looking at Cid.

"You been good for Mrs. Miller?"

"Yeah...she let me play with this old train set she has...it's cool."

"Good...she's doing us a big favor so you mind her all right?"

Cid nodded before Sara smiled and gently touched the side of his face.

"You're a big brother now monkey..."

Smiling Cid leaned over and looked down at the baby. Watching him Sara knew she had been right. He wasn't a monster...he was just a little boy and now she knew she would be able to do this. She not only had this baby...she had him.

Faintly the baby stirred and let out a faint cry as Cid stared down at him in wonder. She knew that she was making things right. If she was here to raise the two of them, if she could teach him how to be good and to control things, he wouldn't turn out the way Joe feared. He now had a little brother to look after and love. He now had a reason not to choose the path that was supposed to be written for him.

Using his free hand that wasn't holding the baby, she reached over and stroked Cid's hair.

_Dr. Anderson eyed the monitor and sighed. Sara was now changed into a hospital gown and the bleeding had slowed down. Hooked up to two different monitors, she sat up as Joe sat beside her holding her hand. Turning, Dr. Anderson stared at them._

"_Your blood pressure is very high, the baby's heartbeat is slowing quickly...I'm going to need to order an emergency C-section."_

_Sara shut her eyes._

"_Oh Jesus..."_

_Joe cleared his throat, sitting up straighter._

"_Is she going to be okay?"_

"_There's some hemorrhaging, now you fell backwards?"_

_Sara didn't even bother to open her eyes, she sighed loudly._

"_Yeah, I slipped and fell..."_

"_Well, we're going to take you in now. I have everyone ready to deliver. I know this is sudden but the baby is developed enough that there isn't any risk."_

_Sara opened her eyes._

"_Is the baby going to die?"_

_Dr. Anderson shook his head._

"_Not if I can help it...but we have to hurry. Now we're going to get you prepped and ready and before you know your baby will be here, safe and sound."_

_Dr. Anderson nodded before walking out. Laying there Sara controlled herself from crying before Joe quickly got up and followed him outside in the hallway._

"_Doctor!"_

_Dr. Anderson turned. _

"_Yes?"_

_Joe hurried over, feeling as though he was a nervous wreck. _

"_Doctor, be honest...is she going to be okay?"_

"_Sara is going to be fine, we just need to work fast."_

"_Doctor...if there's any risk...I...I can't loose her okay? If it comes down to it and you need to choose on saving her or the baby...please save her okay?"_

_Dr. Anderson nodded before placing his hand on his arm._

"_She's going to be fine..."_

_Fifteen minutes later Sara found herself on the operating table. Her hair up in a hairnet and a divider between her midsection and the rest of her body. Staring up at the lights she listened to all the sounds of the machines as the nurses surrounded her. Joe quickly hurried in scrubs before going to her side. Holding her hand he watched the nurses work before Dr. Anderson came in, mask covering his face and his glasses on._

_Joe watched everyone closely but kept holding Sara's hand, staring down at her and giving her a strong comforting smile. _

_That's when one of the monitors began to beep loudly, Joe watched as they began to open her up. The second he saw the blood flashes of all the men he killed flashed before his eyes. Looking away he stared down at Sara, trying to show her everything was okay. _

_Sara stared up, unable to see what was happening._

"_I can't feel anything...what's happening?"_

_Joe eyed and saw that Dr. Anderson was nearly up to his elbows in blood. He was working quickly. Looking back down at Sara, she seemed terrified. _

"_What's that sound?"_

_Joe looked around before one of the nurses checked one of the machines._

"_Her blood pressure is dropping..."_

_Sara looked around with wide eyes._

"_What's wrong?"_

_Joe looked up at Dr. Anderson as he worked deeper into Sara, blood seemed to be everywhere._

"_There's a lot of tissue...we're almost there..."_

_Looking back down, Joe squeezed Sara's hand and smiled down at her._

"_Just hang in a few more minutes okay?"_

_Sara nodded before Joe smiled and kissed her hand, rubbing it in between his._

"_Remember the first time we saw each other?"_

"_What you hiding in the cane or puking in front of me?"_

_Joe laughed._

"_You saved my life..."_

"_Yeah I knew you just needed a few good slaps."_

_Joe smiled and kept rubbing her hand._

"_Thank you..."_

"_For what?"_

"_For everything, for letting me feel like I have something worth living for..."_

_Sara blinked staring at him._

"_Joe...you make sure the baby is all right. Forget about me..."_

"_Shhh..."_

"_No I mean it...please."_

"_Listen, we're going to be okay...the baby is going to be okay. We're all gonna do home...and I'm going to give you a real wedding. Everything you deserve...I promise."_

_Sara stared up at him, her eyes looking so tired and hollow._

"_I got everything I need Joe..."_

_Smiling down at her, the two locked eyes before Dr. Anderson stood up straight, both arms down._

"_And...here he is..."_

_He pulled up and there was silence._

_Joe looked over and saw the small lifeless gray infant laying in the doctor's hands. The cord still attached. Right away all the nurses eyed each other before Dr. Anderson's entire expression changed. Cutting the cord, he carried the baby over to one of the nurses who took it, walking over to the other side of the room. Joe tried to crane his neck to see what they were doing but a huddle of nurses surrounded the baby. Right away Dr. Anderson sighed and caught Joe's eye. _

_Sara saw this._

"_What's wrong? Why isn't it crying?"_

_Joe saw two of the nurses step aside, they were trying to pump oxygen over the baby's tiny little face. He saw that it was a boy._

_Sara stared up, scared and on the verge of tears._

"_What's happening? Is it dead?"_

"_Your baby is fine, we're just giving him a little help to start breathing..."_

_Just then two of the monitors began to beep like crazy. Laying there Sara suddenly looked as though all her color was draining out of her face as tears rolled down her cheeks. Joe saw two of the nurses hurry over as Dr. Anderson leaned down._

"_She won't stop bleeding..."_

_One of the nurses walked over and took his arm._

"_Could you please step outside for a second."_

_Joe looked down at Sara's frightened eyes before he pulled away._

"_No..."_

_He looked over and saw the other nurses still working on the baby. Dr. Anderson and another nurse seemed to be struggling working on Sara. Blood looked as though it was getting on everything. _

"_Joe?"_

_Sara asked looking up. _

"_Please sir..."_

"_No..."_

_Joe pulled away again before the nurse looked over to Dr. Anderson who was sweating and working on Sara, Staring over, he nodded._

_Out of nowhere three other nurses, one of which appeared to be one of the orderlies came blocking Joe away from Sara. Trying to move aside, he tried to look down at her. _

"_Please just step out for a second, we need room to work on your wife..."_

"_Please I'll stand off to the side I won't get in anyone's way...please let me be with her..."_

_But before he could say another word they pushed him through the doors, locking him out. Looking in through the tiny window he watched as they struggled on Sara who stared up, not moving at all. Faintly he thought he heard the sound of crying when one of the nurses took him by the arm._

"_Please, come wait down here..."_

_Joe stared in through the window, not wanting to move._

"_Is she going to be okay?"_

"_I'm sure she'll be fine..."_

_Slowly turning, Joe kept looking over his shoulder before he stopped in the hallway. Standing there he sniffled and leaned back against the wall. That's when everything came crashing down at him all at once. The thought of losing the baby had crossed his mind, but losing Sara scared him to death. Standing there he suddenly felt dizzy. Leaning against the wall, he slid down, sitting. _

_Just then Cid came shuffling out from behind the nurse's desk. Looking at Joe he cocked his head to the side and walked over._

"_Is mamma okay?"_

_Looking up at him, Joe couldn't control it any longer. Bursting into tears, he reached forward needing any form of comfort and wrapped his arms around Cid before pulling him close and softly kissing his head. _

Sara brought Cid and the baby home one clear warm spring afternoon. She for the first time in a while felt refreshed and strong enough to face anything. After a few days at the hospital, and the Millers being kind enough to watch Cid, she was looking forward to going home again.

The taxi dropped them off and Sara shifted the baby in her arms who gently gurgled wrapped up like a big bundle. Cid was helping her with her bag and looked up.

"Mamma?"

"Yeah monkey?"

"Why is the baby all wrapped up? It's hot out."

"Because babies get colder than us...come on."

Walking towards the house Sara glanced back at the barn for a second. She remembered the night she first met Joe and how she had dragged him out there, using an old pair of handcuffs her grandfather used to own to shackle him to a cot and leave him with a hose inside for get through his first night of withdraws. She had gone through it before, and it wasn't pleasant. She remembered him muttering within his fever driven sleep, tossing and turning and she covered him up with one of Cid's older sheets and gently dabbed his forehead with a facecloth.

The next morning she had forced him to drop his blunderbuss and had shot him in the chest with the rock salt. Somehow these memories seemed as though they were a million years ago. Walking past the tree where Joe was buried she paused for a moment before sadly smiling.

It seemed so surreal that she was holding their baby now.

Walking inside, she went straight to the couch where she held the baby who thinly cried. She knew she was going to have to feed him soon. Crawling up beside her, Cid cocked his head to the side and smiled down at his little brother.

"Can I hold him?"

"Yeah sure...you gotta sit back though okay?"

Cid nodded as Sara very careful y placed the baby in his arms.

"Support his head, yep that's right hold it...good job."

The baby wiggled within his blankets but settled down. At first glance it seemed pretty funny since the baby was so big and looked like a large over sized doll in Cid's hands. Sitting back she watched him. Cid looked up and smiled.

Somehow a very faint comforting though overcame her.

Everything would be all right.

That night Sara was awoke by the faint cries of the baby on the monitor she had bought a few weeks before that sat on her nightstand beside her rabbit ashtray. Thinking back to the plastic frogs she gave a sleepy smile before swinging her legs out of bed and grabbing her robe. Walking through the darkness she reached the nursery door which she kept half open and walked inside. Thin moonlight was spilling in through the windows along with the tiny lamb nightlight she had plugged in.

"Shhh, I'm here baby..."

Walking over she leaned down and scooped the baby up. Holding him, she paced back and forth. Just an hour ago she had given him some milk, and at first feel she knew he wasn't wet. Knowing she had a lot of practice with this, she walked back and forth trying her hardest to sooth him.

Walking down the hallway with him, she went back into her bedroom hoping they wouldn't wake Cid. The whole evening he seemed transfixed on the baby and wouldn't stop watching him with complete wonder. Going to her bed, Sara sat down and held the baby.

"Look at you..."

She softly said as the baby waved it's tiny fists.

"I have a feeling your gonna be just like your daddy huh?"

The baby seemed to settle down as she very slowly laid him down and curled up beside him, making sure he wouldn't roll or get tangled up in the covers. Laying there in the darkness she gently stroked his tiny arm with her finger. The baby laid there for a second before wiggling a little bit and settling down. Smiling she blindly reached for the top draw of the nightstand and pulled something out.

Holding it, she turned the cool metal over in her hands.

It was Joe's pocket watch. Clicking it open, she listened to the faint clicking before laying back and watching her baby.

"Oh Joe...he's beautiful..."

She whispered to herself, not being able to take her eyes off the baby for a very long time.

_Joe was still holding onto Cid when Dr. Anderson came walking out, slowly he recovered his cap and Joe saw that blood had stained the bottom sleeves of his scrubs. His face looked very grave and disappointed. Right away Joe lifted his eyes and knew._

_If Cid heard there might be an explosion._

_Carefully he drew Cid back and forced a smile._

"_Hey kiddo...why don't you go back to the nurses and finish coloring."_

"_Is mamma okay?"_

"_Of course she is, I just gotta talk to the doctor for a second."_

"_Promise."_

_Joe fought not to show any more tears. Winking he smiled._

"_Promise."_

_Cid stared at him with entrusting eyes before walking back down towards the desk. Joe noticed how tiny he seemed and that he was still in fact a baby himself. Slowly he stood himself up, leaning against the wall for support. Looking at the doctor, he steadied himself to hear the news he knew was going to rip his heart apart._

"_She's dead isn't she?"_

_Dr. Anderson stopped before slowly shaking his head. _

"_I'm sorry, we couldn't stop the bleeding and..."_

_Joe heard the faint sound of tiny sneakers creep up against the floor behind him. Freezing he slowly turned to see Cid's wide glassy scared eyes. Staring down at him, Joe was speechless. He felt as though in just the matter of seconds everything had simply stopped in motion. The reality of Sara being dead hadn't fully hit him. He felt like an actor in a movie. Somebody had just fed him a series of lines and he was still trying to understand them._

_Joe stared down at Cid before his tiny little face crumpled. His lip quivered before he spun around and ran as fast as he could down the hall. In just the matter of seconds all the windows lining the opposite side of the wall shattered, spraying glass in a million different directions. _

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Joseph! Happy birthday to you!"

Sara and Cid sang to the baby that stared with wide eyes at his cake on Sara's lap. Dressed in overalls, the baby waved his chubby little hands and looked at the candles with wide green eyes.

Clapping, Sara held the baby before looking across at Cid.

"Why don't you help Joey and blew out his candles."

Grinning Cid smiled and leaned forward, shutting his eyes he then let out a big breath making the flames puff out with the nice faint smell of burning lingering in the air.

Cid had been going to school for nearly a year now. Sara had been terrified of course but finally came the day she knew she had to let him go. He was a smart boy, brighter than most adults. She had been teaching him how to keep that fear and anger down, and how to control it. On his first day, she looked him straight in the eyes and talked for him for the first time like an adult.

"If you get upset, or scared...remember to hold it in. If anyone ever finds out what you can do...their going to come after you. Stay strong and remember what I said."

Cid stood there looking so small, a backpack on. Nodding, he stared up at her before she kissed her cheek. Standing, she watched him disappear with all the other children and felt instantly scared and alone. That whole afternoon she stayed by the phone, feeding Joe, and fussing over him waiting for a call.

Instead two o'clock came by and the big yellow school bus came to drop him off. Holding the baby, she waited until he climbed down, the biggest smile on his face.

The whole evening he wouldn't stop talking about what they all kid and all the other children he met. A month later his teacher Mrs. Woodsen met with her. She explained how gifted Cid was and how advance he was for his age. The idea of him jumping a grade came across which made Sara think about for a while. She didn't want to push him, and she didn't want to chance anything. There really hadn't been any accidents but still, she was worried.

In the end, she let Cid make the choice.

He decided to move ahead.

Despite the fact he was with slightly older children, he seemed to be doing wonderful. His school work was amazing and he was making friends fast. In fact he was looking forward to school each day and hated whenever he had to miss it. The long days he was gone Sara would work around the farm and house. Spending her time with the baby, trying to fill up all the empty time.

Cid adored his little brother, every afternoon when he came home from school he would lay out in the living room and play with him. He was always gentle and always wanted to help Sara. Most Sunday mornings he would get up before her, sneak into the nursery and try to take him out of his crib.

Now it was a year later, and for the first time in a while everything seemed to be okay.

The baby was doing well. His hair was coming in dark and thick like Joe's. In fact he was starting to look like the spitting image of him.

Sara snapped as many photos as she could. Learning as he went along on how to care for a baby. They had fallen into a nice routine, and day after day while Cid was at school it was just the two of them. Joe was a healthy eater, and wasn't as fussy as she expected. He was sleeping though the nights now and was babbling up a storm. He had just begun to make sounds of what Sara thought was "Mamma." Night after night when she laid him out in his crib, she would stare down and still felt amazed that he was really here.

It comforted her knowing a small part of Joe was indeed still alive.

Sitting there smiling that bring spring morning, she celebrated her baby's first birthday. Watching Cid dip his finger into the frosting she smiled before leaning down and kissing Joe's head.

This was what happiness really was like.

_Nobody could explain what happened to the windows. _

_There was a crew in the process of cleaning up all the millions of pieces of shattered glass that had covered the floors. _

_A few of the nurses offered to look for Cid but in his dazed state of shock, Joe knew he hadn't gone far. He told them he would and ignored when Dr. Anderson tried to give him something for his nerves. Instead he ran out of the hospital and heard a few loud car alarms. Hurrying, he went in that direction before finding Cid huddled up on the other side of the parking-lot near the lawn. _

_Stopping he stared at him for a second before working his nerve up. _

"_Cid?"_

_Cid looked up, tears rolling down his face._

"_I want my mamma..."_

_Feeling his heart break, Joe hurried over before scooping Cid up and holding him in his arms. Wrapping his arms around him, he listened as Cid began to wail against him, crying loudly against his shirt. Trying his hardest to sooth him, he held him close._

_An hour later Joe sat staring off into space as Cid laid across his lap in the waiting room, cried out and exhausted. Joe gently stroked his hair, unable to talk or think._

_Sara was dead._

_Remembering the first time he laid eyes on her, holding that shotgun and yelling into the cane. He then remembered her dragging him onto the porch when he was going though withdraws, slapping his face and snapping her fingers telling him to look up into the light._

_Now she was dead._

_Just this morning she was fine, laughing and talking with him._

_Now she was gone, and it was all his fault._

"_Joe?"_

_Lifting his eyes, Joe took a second to fully hear. Standing there was Dr. Anderson, his eyes calm and a tiny bit sad._

"_Would you like to see the baby?"_

_Joe blinked._

"_What?"_

"_The baby...he's down in the nursery. He had a little trouble breathing but he's fine now."_

"_It's...a boy?"_

_Dr. Anderson gave a small sad smile._

"_Yeah, I think it would help if you saw him."_

_Sitting there, still stroking Cid's hair, Joe honestly didn't know if anything could help him right now. He had just lost a woman who he really did believe was the reason why everything had changed. The woman who ended up saving him instead, the woman who had given him a family and a reason to live._

_Thinking of Sara alone in the delivery room, scared, wondering what was going on. Laying there unable to move and slowly dying._

_If he just hadn't of gotten her pregnant. If they had been more careful...this wouldn't have happened._

_An ugly horrible voice inside of him tried to tell him that wasn't true. That she was perfectly fine before Joe made her crash back against the wall. _

_Pushing that thought away he hated himself for even thinking it. Instead he stared down at boy who was why all of this had happened. If he hadn't been for him he wouldn't have even had these last ten or so months of happiness..._

_A small glimmer of a family and a normal life._

_Carefully he slid from under Cid, letting him rest across the seats before looking up at the doctor._

"_He'll be fine, I'll have somebody watch him."_

_As they began to walk, Joe stopped them._

"_Can I see her?"_

_Dr. Anderson stared at her._

"_I don't think..."_

"_Please."_

_Sighing, Dr. Anderson seemed to understand. _

_Fifteen minutes later Joe found himself in the delivery room. Sara had been covered up from the neck down. Everything was taken down and cleaned up. The monitors all shut off and silent. Sara laid there, her face pale and her eyes closed. Her hair still back. Sitting there, Joe felt her hand._

_It was all ready cold._

_His face crumpling, he lowered his head and moaned loudly. Rocking back and forth he began to cry harder and harder. It wasn't fair. This wasn't supposed to happen like this._

_They were supposed to be together, start a life together._

_He loved her..._

_Now here she was, dead and he was all alone._

_Reaching forward, he gripped onto her body and cried against her, nearly screaming. He hated himself for this and just wished he could wake from his nightmare._

"_Please..."_

_He whispered softly. _

_Tears rolling down his face, he laid there begging her to wake up. That he couldn't do this alone. That she was supposed to be there for him. He couldn't do it alone...in fact he knew he couldn't._

_Finally the nurse came in, seeing Joe's raw eyed she nervously cleared her throat before he turned. Holding the bundle of blankets she walked over._

"_I thought you would like a few minutes alone with your son..."_

_Wiping his eyes roughly, Joe sat up straight as the nurse walked over and very carefully handed the baby over to him._

"_He's a very beautiful baby...just call for me when your done."_

_The nurse looked as if she was in a hurry to get out of the room. One quick glance at Sara's body, she turned and left. An odd silence settled over the room as Joe stared down at his newborn son._

_The baby was tiny, wearing a kit cap and wrapped around in a light blue blanket. It thinly cried before settling down. Staring down, Joe looked down at him in total awe._

_This was his son. This was their baby..._

_Looking over at Sara who had died to bring him into this world, he wondered if she had gotten a chance to see him? If she was still awake to hear him cry for the first time._

"_Oh Sara...he's beautiful..."_

_Softly he leaned down and kissed his son's head._

**12 years later**

Sara sat in the empty kitchen, smoking her forth cigarette and staring at the newspaper.

_**Four youths killed in bizarre accident**_

There hadn't been any witnessed, or any evidence. The police believed it might have been so sort of car wreck since the bodies weren't exactly left intact. It all happened at Widow's Point, a local hangout for a lot of the younger kids from town.

Joe sat across from her, wearing jeans and a white T-shirt. He was doing his homework and was currently attempting to finish up his math. Joe had grown into a pretty handsome kid. He had gotten most of his father's looks and was turning into a younger version of him. Sara suspected that before he was twenty he would look nearly exactly like him.

He had just come home from the market where he worked part time after school. He was an average student who was filling his time well. For the last twelfth years he hadn't given her any trouble. In fact he was the perfect son.

She had enjoyed every part of his childhood and for Joe life was never a disappointment. He was an easy going happy go lucky kid who always seemed so grateful for what he had. He had plenty of friends, worked hard, and played basketball on the side. All he knew about his father was that he had died before he was born.

Tonight he knew she was worried so instead of doing his homework upstairs he stayed down with her, not saying a word and simply keeping her company.

Just then the back screen door opened. Cid stumbled in, wearing his dusty leather jacket, his hair hanging in his eyes.

Sara lifted her eyes and knew right away that he was high. For the past few years he had began hanging with a bad crowd and had started to drop. His studies were wasted and a raw horrible mean attitude had started. He no longer was her little boy. He was somebody else...somebody awful.

She had tried so hard, but the older Cid got the worse it got. He began to seem so distant to her. Not wanting to talk to her or even speak. He spent most of his nights out, going into the city. He had wasted his chance for college and every second he did stumble home it was to start a fight.

She just wished she knew what had happened to her little boy.

Joe looked up before nervously eying Sara. Clearing her throat, Sara held up the newspaper.

"You did this didn't you."

Cid blinked.

"What?"

"I saw it this morning, these were the boys giving you trouble...you started a fight with them and they got killed."

"Are you saying I'm a murderer."

"I'm saying you've been lying to me..."

Cid rolled his eyes.

"Get off my case ma..."

Sara stood up, glaring at him.

"No, your not going to get out of this one. I know your on something and I know you're trying to make up another bullshit excuse. Do you have any idea what would have happened if somebody saw you?!"

Sara stood in front of him, her heart racing.

"Do you have any idea what kind of power you have? What I've tried to do..."

"GET OFF MY BACK!"

Roughly Cid shoved forward, making Sara stumble. That's when Joe stood up, his eyes darkened as he glared at his older brother.

"Don't touch her."

Cid turned, an amused look on his face.

"What did you say you little shit?"

"I said...don't touch her you fucking junkie."

This was the first time Sara had heard Joe swear in front of her besides the usual shit or fuck slip. Right away she saw the look in his eyes and watched as everything lifted off the counters and table.

Her ashtray, coffee mug, his notebooks and pens...

All floating.

Joe made his hands into fists before his eyes widened.

Knowing what was going to happen Sara turned and ran past Cid, flinging the screen door open before standing on the porch in the darkness. Wrapping her arms around herself she gasped out a cry as she heard Joe and Cid begin to scream at each other.

The noise carried from the house into the dark fields. Standing there feeling the cold, Sara heard as things began to shatter and crash from inside. Looking out at the tree where she had buried Joe all those years ago, she wondered how things had honestly ended up like this?

Joe had been born with TK, but it had just begun to show less then a few months ago when he hit puberty. It had laid dormant all these years, and here it was. A sleeping monster ready to be awakened.

But unlike Cid it was ten times more powerful, and he had been controlling it ever since he began noticing whenever he got upset that windows started to crack and things lifted by themselves. He knew all about Cid and watched as he had started to abuse his power as he got older and got deeper and deeper with the drugs.

Standing there, listening to her sons fight, she stared up at the star lit sky feeling tears sting her eyes as she asked God for help.


	10. Chapter 10

"_**And then I saw it. I saw a mom who would die for her son. A man who would kill for his wife. A boy angry and alone. Laid out in front of him the bad path, I saw it. And the path was a circle. So I changed it." **_

Sara laid in bed that night crying to herself. Here she was forty years old, and looked twice that age from all the years of regret and worrying. She had tried so hard to raise hr boys right. To teach them that there was good in the world. She had tried so hard to show Cid how to control his power, and keep him away from that horrible path Joe truly believed he would go down. It had been lonely and rough for her, but she did everything to prove to herself that she could do this. That she was stronger than anyone else thought. That Joe hadn't died for nothing...

She wished so badly he hadn't of killed himself. All these lonely years raising the boys made her always think back on those few days back on the farm when all of this had started.

She could still see him, standing there in the distance of the field. His eyes locking with hers as his older self pointed the gun, ready to shoot and kill her. Without so much as speaking, both seemed to understand. Joe stared at her before flipping the blunderbuss around, pointing it right against his heart and staring at her before he pulled the trigger...

"No!"

Sara woke with a start, fresh tears rolling down her face.

It was just a dream, just like all the others.

Reaching against her, she felt the cold metal of the pocket watch rest against her clammy skin. Sniffling she took a moment before fully waking up.

She was alone in her bedroom on the farm. Tonight had been awful. Cid and Joe had begun to fight before Cid screamed, shattering a few of the windows and stormed out, jumping on his bike and speeding away. Sara waited until Joe calmed down, when everything seemed to have stopped she slowly crept in and found Joe with the broom and dust pan sweeping all the shattered glasses and plates that had fallen across the floor. Looking up, his big green eyes seemed guilty.

"Sorry mom."

Sighing Sara came over and helped him clean up before hugging him, holding him close and smelling his clean thick dark hair. She knew he hated having the same TK power Cid did, and the only time he really did seem to loose control was in defending her.

"It's okay baby..."

Cid didn't come back home and Sara wasn't the least bit surprised. Instead Joe and herself went to bed early that night and Sara used her pillow to muffle her cries so Joe wouldn't hear her down the hall.

She had two sons with this terrifying power, and slowly she felt as though she was loosing Cid. The older he seemed to get, the more and more distant he was becoming. She wished so badly she had Joe here to talk to. She was trying her hardest to raise him good, but he just kept pulling away.

That's when she heard a noise, a faint creaking down downstairs. She had lived in this farm house for a very long time and had gotten used to every noise it made, even as it settled at night with the wind. This was a new noise, this was coming down below...

Raising an eyebrow she slowly swung her feet out and grabbed for her robe. She hoped that maybe it was Cid stumbling in. Tomorrow if he would listen she would sit down and try to talk to him. He was a bright boy she she hated to see him waste his life like this.

Closing her robe she slowly walked out and down the hall. Pausing she glanced at Joe's bedroom before slowly opening the door a crack.

Inside her boy was laying on his stomach on his twin bed. A few comic books were scattered across him, and he looked as though he was deeply asleep. Staring at him, Sara felt the most overwhelming feeling of love for him.

He was getting older, in just a few years he would be graduating high school, than hopefully college...the same dream she had for Cid. He was getting tall and still seemed slender, but with each passing day he looked more and more like his father.

She had shown him the only photo she had of him. She explained he died before Joe was born and that he loved him very much. Joe seemed interested but never asked questions and as far as she knew Cid didn't say anything. Leaning against the door frame she sighed. For the short time Cid did know Joe, he had looked up to him. Maybe if he had lived...things might have been different.

That's when the noise came again.

Freezing Sara looked behind her towards the stairs. The noise was faint but she could still hear it.

Somebody was in the house.

Turning, she began down the stairs, being careful. Once she reached the living room she glanced out the window into the darkness of the front yard and saw Cid's bike parked against the barn.

A small feeling of relief settled on her knowing that nobody was breaking in at three in the morning. Sighing she looked towards the kitchen and saw that it was dark.

"Cid?"

She softly called out.

The noise came again, from below.

Glancing, she saw the door that went to the basement was half open and a small glow was coming from it. Standing there puzzled, Sara slowly began down the stairs, trying her hardest not to make any noise. Right away the temperature seemed to drop as she went further and further down the stairs and past the cement stone walls.

She stood in the doorway where the furnace and her grandfather's old workshop was.

One of the overhead lights were on casting a dim glow. Squatting there was Cid, he was holding Joe's old blunderbuss which she had stored away along with the other pistol behind some of boxes back when she was pregnant with Joe. She remembered how she hated handing that gun, knowing that it was the same one that killed Joe. She had thrown it behind where it wouldn't be found simply because she had no idea what else to do with it. She remembered tossing it in there and thinking she had seen small flecks of dried blood on the metal.

Now her son was there holding it, tossing something into a duffel bag.

Her money.

All of their money.

Sara didn't believe in banks. Ever since she had all of Joe's silver traded in, she had kept all of the cash in a safe down in the basement. She was very good with saving and investing and she had more than enough. She planned on paying for all of Cid and Joe's education and whatever was left over she would split between the two.

She knew that the boys knew about the money, but she honestly didn't think they knew the combo for the safe, even though it was Cid's birthday.

Now here he was, like a thief in the night taking all of the money. She knew he was probably high, maybe even in trouble. Whatever the reason was she knew by the looks of it he was planning on leaving for good. If he needed money why didn't he just ask? Feeling her heart break she stepped forward. Maybe, just maybe she could talk to him like before...

"Cid?"

Spinning around with wide eyes, Cid pointed the blunderbuss at Sara and pulled the trigger. Sara stared at him and in the split second before it hit her she saw the old scared little boy she had always deeply loved.

Then she was knocked backwards by the hit.

She had been shot right in the stomach, and she knew it had blown her back nearly apart. Strangely enough though she didn't feel any pain from her breasts down. She was numb and she felt as if she had fallen into something wet. Laying on the dusty floor, staring up at the ceiling, she laid there feeling her life drain out of her.

Cid slowly stood up, his eyes scared and wide, blinking as he stared down at his mother.

His mother...he had just shot his mother.

Just then a noise on the stairs made him look up in utter panic. It was Joe, in sweat pants and a T-shirt, his hair still messy from bed. He stood there staring down at his mother. A large bloody hole now where her midsection had once had been. Cid stared at Joe before slowly his faint green eyes lifted and stared at him.

"You...killed her."

Before Cid could do anything Joe's face crumpled in utter rage as he screamed, causing the walls to vibrate as he jumped over Sara and charged towards his brother.

Laying there, unable to see, Sara faintly heard the sound of her sons fighting. She knew it was bad as pipes exploded and wood began to splinter. Unable to move, she laid there staring up as her vision began to blur.

"Sara?"

Her eyes weakly fluttered but she couldn't see anything. She knew who was calling her and she decided it might be better to go to it. Feeling a comforting warmth take her over, she shut her eyes and died.

_Joe had finally finished burying Sara. _

_It was nearly dusk and his hands were blistered and bleeding. His sleeves rolled up, he wiped some sweat away that was dripping from his hair and sighed before he leaned against the shovel. Staring down at the freshly made grave his heart gave a dull ache._

_It was two days since Sara had died. He had spoken with Dr. Anderson and he was given permission to take Sara's body back to the farm. Now he had finished burying her underneath the tree outside the barn. It was the same place they had first really met nearly ten months ago when he thought he was dying from withdraws. It wasn't exactly romantic, but he felt this was what Sara would have wanted._

_Glancing over at the house he saw Cid, sitting there with his chin in his hands. He hadn't been sleeping well ever since they got back and was spending a lot of time alone in his room playing. This evening Joe explained that he was going to bury Sara and Cid simply came out on the porch to watch. Sitting beside him in the car-seat was the baby. Joe had bundled him up good and knew he better take him in soon before the bugs started to come out._

_Ever since he left the hospital he felt terrified. _

_Just less than a year ago he was a bachelor, a junkie, a killer. His days consisted of killing, collecting, and partying. Now here he was, stuck on a farm alone with a little boy who may or may not be a bomb waiting to explode, and a newborn baby. He had no idea how to care for kids, just the idea of Sara dying made him angry. This wasn't supposed to happen like this..._

_She was supposed to do this with him. Those last ten months had been wonderful. In fact it was the first time he felt somewhat normal, like he really belonged. Now just because he had to go and get her pregnant she was dead. Glancing at Cid and the baby he honestly had no idea what to do._

_Carrying the shovel he walked over to the porch. Looking up with his wide brown eyes, Cid's face seemed to crumple. _

"_Do...you hate me?"_

_Joe's brow wrinkled._

"_No...of course not."_

_Dropping the shovel, Joe knelt down in front of Cid and gathered him in his arms._

"_Come here..."_

_Cid sniffled as fat tears rolled down his cheeks._

"_Did I kill mamma?"_

_Joe hugged Cid, trying his hardest to sooth him._

"_No..."_

_Pulling away he made Cid look him in the eye._

"_Do you hear me Cid? You didn't kill your mother. She's in Heaven now."_

_Staring at Joe, Cid snapped his eyes shut and softly cried as Joe held him tight, stroking his hair. Beside him the baby began to thinly cry. Glancing at him, Joe felt helpless._

_That night Cid went to sleep out of pure exhaustion. Joe tucked him in and stayed with him for a while before taking the baby back to the master bedroom. Laying in the dark, he curled up beside the newborn, his nerves on edge knowing he would wake up in an hour or so to have his bottle. Joe still was second guessing everything he did and was scared to death he might do something wrong. Laying there in the darkness, he gently stroked the baby's soft cheek and couldn't believe such a fuck up like himself could have helped in making something so perfect._

_Thinking of Sara, Joe roughly wiped a tear away before gently kissing his baby's head and laying there in the darkness._

It wasn't just a fight.

It was a battle.

Most of the pipes in the basement were now shattered with water and oil dripping out of them. Chunks of the walls were breaking apart and flying around like bullets.

Sara's body laid in the doorway, ignored for the time being as both brothers scared at each other from opposite sides of the room.

Cid had tried to use the blunderbuss again but it had jammed. Joe's entire face had gone flush and he scared causing the weapon that had killed both of his parents to go flying across the room. Both boys screamed, making an inside wind start to scream around them.

Cid glared at his brother, before lifting his hand and using his TK to raise him high into the air.

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"

"YOU KILLED MOM!

"YOU WERE ALWAYS HER FAVORITE! SHE NEVER LOVED ME!"

With that Cid threw his brother into the wall head first. For a second he thought he had killed him. Instead Joe stumbled backwards holding his face. The jagged rocks in the wall had cut open the side of his face, right below his jaw. Holding onto his bleeding face, Joe stared at Cid as if he was a wild animal.

Screaming, Joe fixed his eyes on Cid and he saw fear.

Slowly Cid began to rise, not knowing what was happening, Staring at his brother his eyes began to go bloodshot before it fully hit him with what was happening. This was his little brother, the baby he had looked so forward to his mother having. The same little brother he had helped learn how to walk. Who he played played with and rode his bike with. The same little brother he used to love so much before he got so fucked up.

This was the little brother he was supposed to protect...

Instead he floated in the air before Joe screamed again and a silence filled the air.

Cid blew to pieces.

Blood sprayed everywhere, going all over the walls, floor, and ceiling. Chunks of flesh, bone, and guts splattered everywhere.

Joe stood there drenched in his own brother's blood.

Staring at the mess, a coldness settled onto him before he turned and looked down at his mother.

Kneeling down, he gently stroked her cheek before looking down at her chest.

The pocket watch...

Slowly he took it off her and slipped it into his pocket. Silently, still covered in his own brother's blood he grabbed the duffel bag of money and finished filling it, making sure none of the blood got on any of the money. Searching he was able to find another pistol before dragging the bag outside into the cold. Running upstairs he grabbed his jacket before going back downstairs to the basement. Kneeling down once more, he gently kissed his mother's cheek before walking back out leaving his home for the final time.

His cheek was burning but he ignored it. Instead he grabbed the three gas cans from the barn and began to pour gas all around the house. It took less than twenty minutes to finish and once he was done he dug into his pocket and found his mother's silver lighter which he had taken when he grabbed his jacket and threw it down.

The flames started at once and began to climb up the house and it's peeling paint.

Watching the flames climb in the dark night air he turned, putting the bag over one shoulder before staring down the road.

_Joe was spending his afternoon chopping away at the stump in the side yard. The same stump he had watched Sara work on when they first met. He knew he could dig it out using maybe a tractor, but that wasn't how Sara had been doing it so for the last year or so he spent a little time each week to chop away._

_It was a warm summer day and he was sweating._

_A safe distance away sitting on a blanket was Joe. He had just turned one and was currently crawling around playing with some plastic rings. _

_Joe had been taking things one day at a time since Sara died. At first he really didn't think he was going to be able to do it. A few times he even felt as though he was coming close to a complete mental breakdown. More than once he had ran off into the cane fields just to scream and cry to himself before settling down and being able to go back._

_The baby had been tough, he knew nothing about them. Slowly he had started to get the hang of things. For the first few months he barley slept, staying awake feeding or walking with the baby. Slowly he started to understand what the baby meant by a cry and became less and less worried._

_Now a year later he was watching all the things Sara should have seen with him._

_Resting with the ax, he put it on his shoulder and took a deep breath before turning to look at the baby. What he saw nearly made him drop the ax._

_Joe was standing on two very chubby and unsteady legs, but he was standing just the same and slowly taking wide steps towards him._

_Joe stared in utter amazement. _

_The baby stared up at him and giggled. _

_Dropping the ax, Joe hurried over before the baby lost his footing and fell backwards. Going down, he wrapped his arms around the baby and stood up holding him tight._

"_Good boy! That's a good boy!"_

_The baby giggled grabbing handfuls of Joe's hair before Joe stood there, holding the baby and laughing in utter and pure amazement. His baby had just taken his first steps..._

_That night Cid came home from school beyond excited. He had started school a few months after Sara's death and so far everything seemed to be going fine. Right before he left for his first day Joe had taken him aside and talked to him like an adult for the first time ever, looking straight into his eyes._

"_Listen Cid, you need to remember what you have is special...but if you loose control or get scared you can hurt a lot of people."_

"_Like mamma?"_

_Joe shook his head._

"_No, not like your mother. But if you loose control and can't calm down alone...than something bad could happen. You could hurt somebody or even kill them. Then I wouldn't be able to stay with you or your brother."_

_Cid seemed to understand and right before the big yellow school bus picked him up down the road, Joe gave him his silver pocket watch._

"_If you ever feel scared, or angry, or upset...just open this up and count...count until you feel better okay?"_

_Nodding, Cid tucked the watch in his lunch box and left. Watching him go gave a flutter of nervousness in Joe's stomach but he knew it was perfectly normal. This was Cid's first time going away to school and he knew how kids could be. Anything could happen..._

_But then again he tried to tell himself this was what every parent felt when their child went away to school._

_In the last year there hadn't been any accidents. Night after night Joe would spend time with Cid, talking to him, not treating him like a child and leveling with him of how important it was to control this power. There were slips of course, but Joe never lost his temper. Instead he would talk with Cid, and show him little tips on how to control himself._

_Once just a few months ago when Cid was in the living room with the baby, he had lost his temper when the baby had smacked him by accident. Cid had stood up screaming down at the baby that he was stupid and a few of their wooden blocks had blown apart. Joe came running in just in time and shouted for Cid to stop. That night Joe told him he could have killed his brother and the second he lost control that far he would be a killer. Cid seemed scared as he sniffled saying he was sorry but Joe decided this was the only way to get through to him. He explained that things were going to happen that he wasn't going to like. That there were times he would be upset, or scared, or so angry he wouldn't be able to see straight...but that was part of time. If he used his power this way than he was no better than the people who had come after him when Joe first arrived at the farm._

_Cid seemed to understand this and ever since he was nothing but gentle with his brother._

_Joe knew it was going to take years of coaching, patience, and understanding, but he had the time. Cid was Sara's son, which meant he loved him as if he was his own. He would take all the time he had to make sure Sara's final wishes came true and that his son wasn't looked at as a monster._

_Cid came home that night grinning and smiling. He told Joe over dinner as he fed the baby that a few kids in his class had been picking on him when he knew all the answers in the spelling test. He explained to Joe how he felt that same feeling come over him and how he had simply asked to go to the bathroom and took out the watch and counted. When he came back he had calmed down and wasn't even angry anymore. _

_Joe was so proud of Cid he couldn't stop smiling._

_He knew he was doing what Sara wanted. He was making sure he was raised right, and that he would only use this power for good._

The farm was now nothing but ash.

The fire had spread for nearly three miles and all of the fields had burnt down as well. There was barley anything left besides a few crumbling remains of what used to be the house. The police later would find the charred remains of Sara and what appeared to be one of the boys. The pieces that were left weren't enough to see.

The land stayed that way, burnt and unusable for years to come. Over time slowly it began to grow back but the farm was never rebuilt. Unknown to many people, a man was buried on that property. A man who had risked his life for something he had no idea he had part in of all ready putting into motion.

_**Cid and Joe were arguing. He didn't exactly know why. Maybe he had come past his curfew, maybe he had been teasing his brother, whatever the reason was both were standing in the kitchen shouting.**_

_**Cid glared at the man who had caused all of this to happen. Over the years despite the fact this stranger had raised him, he was also the reason his mother had died. The guilt of him loosing control that day his brother was born was now faded and old. Instead he looked at Joe as the man who had to get his mother pregnant. The man who had to be the reason who his mother died...**_

_**Joe was trying to tell him that he had too much going for him. That he was a smart boy and shouldn't go down the same path he had years ago. That it was reckless and stupid.**_

_**Cid felt himself getting worked up more and more. His hands went into fists, his eyes glared at him and then...**_

_**He screamed.**_

_**Joe lifted up into the air, his eyes widening before...**_

_**He made him blow apart. Bloody pieces flew in every direction...**_

_**Standing there as everything blew backwards shattering in the kitchen, Cid stared at the aftermath of his stepfather and then suddenly the horrible thought came to him...**_

_**If he had killed Joe than what about his brother.**_

"_**Joe!"**_

_**He turned, drenched in blood, calling out to him.**_

_**But he wasn't there. He was all alone...**_

"_NO!"_

_Cid woke with a start._

_It was just another nightmare. The same one he had been having for nearly thirteen years. Sitting up in his bed, he looked around at the early morning light that was drifting in through the window. It was late August and tomorrow he would be going away to college. Sitting up, he reached out blindly and took his glasses from the nightstand before slipping them on. Running his hands through his hair he sighed before checking his alarm clock. It was still early, but he wanted to get up and get his day started._

_Most of his things were packed away in boxes. He would be taking his car down to Westpoint where he planned on studying for the next four years. His entire senior year of high school he had carefully looked at several different colleges until Westpoint finally offered him a very impressive scholarship. He was in between deciding which major to choose but after talking to Joe he decided Westpoint was the best place to go._

_Just a few days before Joe had drove him in his pickup truck and helped him move into his dorm. Cid was more than a little nervous but knew that once he settled in everything would be okay._

_His girlfriend Nancy who he had been going out with for the last year or so was going to the state college which was about an hour away. Even though Cid didn't think it would last she insisted that the distance wouldn't change anything._

_Shuffling to the bathroom to shower, he grabbed a towel from the closet before hearing the faint sounds of Joe and his brother downstairs._

_He knew he owed everything to Joe._

_It was been tough over the years controlling his TK. For a while Cid was actually scared that he wasn't going to be able to control it. There were sometimes he just wanted to scream and blow everything apart. Instead he did exactly as Joe taught him. He would take a deep breath and just count..._

_He missed his mother a lot and as much as Joe tried to tell him it wasn't his fault that she died, he still couldn't help but blame himself deep in his heart. _

_Still, Joe was always there, supporting him, showing him how to be strong. He admitted early on that he was worried he was going to screw up but Cid loved him like a father and with each day they slowly learned how to deal with what faced them. Joe was there for everything for Cid. Every awards show, every graduation, every dance or prom. He was always there smiling like a proud father._

_He taught him how to shoot guns, how to drive, and most of all how to talk to girls._

_Joe was good with him and made him feel safe. Even though there were some close calls, Joe was always there to help him focus and control himself. _

_He knew Joe missed his mother a lot. Even though he was always strong for him and his brother he sometimes caught him looking out where he buried her with a sad look on his face._

_Now he was about to go to college and live life like every other normal person._

_He owed this all to Joe._

_Smiling he walked into the bathroom before slipping he silver pocket watch off from his head and placing it on the sink._

_Afterwards he spent the rest of the morning out in the field with his brother. The two were playing soccer which was the newest sport Joe was crazy about. His brother was nuts about sports and played touch football, hockey, and baseball at school._

_He was a slender kid with shaggy dark hair and green eyes._

_He wasn't as book smart as Cid but always very polite and understanding. Joe always remarked that he was a happy go lucky kid that somehow never saw the bad in life._

_Cid adored his younger brother and felt honored he got to help raise him._

_He knew Joe worried about him. Once when he was just five he was riding his bike into the road when the delivery truck came and nearly ran him down. Cid remembered how Joe had ran out with panic in his eyes and scooped him up holding him looking scared to death. _

_Cid knew that Joe was scared that someday something might happen to him._

_But Joe was a careful young kid and even though he never remembered or knew his mother he was a sweet young kid who looked up to Joe like he was his hero._

_Just a few months ago they discovered he had TK. It was an accident and after a few windows breaking, Joe was able to calm him down. Cid helped as much as he could and for the time being it seemed okay._

_Both stood together laughing kicking the ball back and forth as the sun shinned down on them._

_On the porch sat Joe, drinking a beer and watching his sons. His hair pushed back behind his ears._

_He couldn't believe this was where life had taken him._

_He watched his two sons play ball before glancing at Sara's grave. Tomorrow Cid would be going to college. Sara's wished had come true, he had been raised right and for the moment he was using what he had for good._

_Soon it would just be him and little Joe. In just a few years he would be seeing him off. Then...he would be alone._

_Watching the boys play he faintly smiled and tipped his bottle towards Sara's grave._

"_I miss you baby...more than you'll ever know."_

_With that he sat back and for the first time in a very long time...felt at peace._

Joe walked down the road, his cheek still bleeding, the bag thrown over his shoulder and his eyes fixed.

He was heading towards a path that only a father could stop. A path that everyone feared...

Slowly the clouds began to darker and rain started to softly come down. Joe lifted his eyes and looked up as the drops hit his bloody face.

His destiny was written.

He was the rainmaker.

_**When Sara opened her eyes she was standing in a field. She was holding Cid, back when he was just five and innocent. She stood there with her eyes wet and raw from crying.**_

_**She looked over and her heart fluttered.**_

_**Joe was walking towards her, his blunderbuss by his side.**_

"_**Sara?"**_

_**Sara froze.**_

"_**Joe!"**_

_**She cried out, clutching onto her son. Quickly Joe began to hurry over before stopping. Both locked eyes before Joe walked over and gently ran his fingers through her hair. **_

"_**Are you okay?"**_

_**Sara stared at him before her face crumpled, tears rolling down her face.**_

"_**Joe..."**_

_**Slowly she wrapped her arm around him and held him close. Squeezing him tight she cried into his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her and Cid.**_

"_**Shhh...it's all right. I'm here now...it's okay."**_

_**Holding him, Sara knew this was her Heaven. They were together, and nothing in the past, present, or future could hurt them.**_

_**Gently she stroked his hair as he kissed the side of her face. They held each other listening to the gentle sound of the wind.**_

_**The End.**_


End file.
